Having the “right stuff” for a mission to Mars is a bit different than we may have imagined. Since NASA has recently closed their latest search for actual Mars mission astronaut candidates, it’s come to light that they were looking for some rather unexpected qualities. Turns out that all who have a restrictive diet or a tendency to wake up early need not apply.
One of NASA’s prime candidates took some time out of his grueling training regimen to stop by a recent episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. After Stephen explained the importance of an inclusive diet (no need to pack gluten-free anything!) and that sleeping late would be ideal in dealing with the longer Mars day, he was joined on stage by Donnie Barnett who, if you don’t mind us saying, just might be the most perfect human specimen to ever live.
Donnie (played by the incredible T.J. Miller) went on to explain how he’s perfectly suited for a mission to Mars. Being let go from his previous job as a result of a simple miscommunication has freed up his time to
sleep as much as he wants arduously train for his upcoming space adventure. Even the idea of being in isolation doesn’t seem to phase him since he’s been single for quite some time due to an incident rather similar to the one that caused his unemployment.
Miller’s character was almost too much for Colbert to handle, causing the host to break just a bit when “Donnie” explained that Mars women have a certain appeal (citing research he’s done with the classic
sci-fi movie documentary Total Recall). Barnett didn’t stay too long since he is, after all, in training, and not even a TV appearance could keep him from ignoring his—presumably NASA-issued—”meat beeper.”
Even though Donnie Barnett seems to have his seat on a Mars mission locked down, you may be able to eke right in if another misunderstanding comes into play. How would you train for it? Let us know in the comments below!