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Stephen Colbert Announces More Brave Changes for the iPhone 7

Brave. Courageous. Innovative. 

These are all words—definitely words—but probably not words that apply to taking out the headphone jack from an iPhone. You know what is brave, courageous, and innovative, though? Removing everything from the phone, which is what Stephen Colbert did last night in his Apple iPhone 7 keynote announcement parody.

In the Late Show segment, which we found at Entertainment Weekly, Colbert dressed up just like Apple CEO Tim Cook to announce that since “less is more” (the mentality that was used to justify that missing headphone jack), they were going to see “how much more” they “could less.”

Turns out when you remove everything that makes the iPhone the iPhone, or any phone for that matter, what you end up with is a solid block of metal. Such innovation. So courageous. But what do you do when you can’t look at your phone to figure out the time, the weather, or anything we rely on smartphones for these days?

Exactly. That’s why the hot new Apple product this year won’t be the iPhone 7, it will be the iFriend. Colbert’s model was the “Dave,” and wow was he quick with verbal responses. Siri has never been as useful or accurate as Dave. However, the best part about the new iFriend is that he has an old iPhone 6, fully equipped with a headphone jack.

Now those things were really useful.

What do you think of the iPhone 7’s missing headset jack? What about Colbert’s further removals? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

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