There’s a sign twirler on the corner of Crenshaw and Lomita in Torrance, CA who I pass by every few days, and he’s dressed as a pickle. I can never quite catch what he’s advertising — I assume it’s a deli — but I see him (assuming it’s a him) in the corner of my eye, a green blob with a big sign, and I think about what people have to do to get by. There’s no shame in doing a job like that, of course. At least, there shouldn’t be shame. But if you’re doing it and a high school classmate happens to stroll by, well, that’s when you want to disappear.
I thought about the Human Pickle when I saw this story from Strongsvile, Ohio, as reported by Fox affiliate WJW-TV (Fox 8 ) in Cleveland. The short-hand version is in the headline, “Banana at Large After Attacking Gorilla in Strongsville“:
Yes, a guy in a banana suit attacked a guy in a gorilla suit. The latter was promoting a cell phone store, because what says “cell phones” better than a guy in a gorilla suit? The story has, of course, given reporters free reign to make banana jokes, like “Police say the person dressed up as a banana split and headed south on Pearl Road.” And the manager of the cell phone store said, “This is just bizarre. It’s really not normal of the food chain. That’s not really how this works. The gorilla should have won.” It’s interesting that someone’s even considered the question, “who would win in a fight, a gorilla or a banana?” That they’re not real gorillas or bananas is a secondary consideration.
Joking aside, nobody deserves to be attacked on the job, not even a guy in a gorilla suit, not for a prank or for any other reason. Like being in a gorilla suit in front of a cell phone store isn’t humbling enough. The talk radio part of my brain says that you can talk about the worst jobs you’ve ever had in the comments; the rest of my brain is a jumble of thoughts about people running around in banana and pickle costumes, so let’s ignore that part and think about bad jobs as we review the week that was here at Nerdist:
1. Sex Nerd Sandra started us off by introducing a new word she’d invented: spunkelunking. See, the spunk is, um, spunk, and the cave is, ah, well, you know, I’m a lot less comfortable talking about this stuff than Sandra is. Good thing it’s her job, not mine.
2. Kyle did another “Dissecting Trailers” column in which he ritually disemboweled the trailer for The Three Musketeers. Anachronisms ahoy!
3. The Podcast welcomed our Friends From Down Under, Rove McManus and the Axis of Awesome. Featured: Chris as Fred Schneider singing The Prodigy’s “Firestarter.” It sounded exactly as you’d expect it would.
4. A video showed, in animated form, how the Aurora Borealis happens. Coming soon: a video explaining how David Boreanaz happens. (rimshot)
5. A report in the Wall Street Journal highlighted how hotels and resorts are offering “digital detox” weekends, in which you give up all your tech at the front desk for some blessed disconnection. I could not do that. I’d be sitting there with a book trying to turn the page by pressing imaginary buttons.
6. As a Philadelphia Eagles fan (FLY, Eagles, FLY, on the road to vic-to-reeee…), I was quite taken aback by the new alliance between Marvel and the Dallas Cowboys. Captain America’s team? Bleaugh.
8. We saw lots of video of the Phoenix dust storm, in which a haboob slammed into the Valley of the Sun, turning it into the Valley Of a Lot Of Dirt All Over Everything. They tend to leave this out of tourism material.
9. We saw beloved comedian and actor Patton Oswalt get kicked in the nuts in a 5-Second Movie, “Crabwalkin’.” I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it more than I would enjoy “Friends With Benefits.” Unless the latter movie is entirely made up of Mila Kunis kicking Justin Timberlake in the nuts. Something tells me it isn’t.
10. Remember Face, the animated, um, face from Nick Jr.? In a video from Gentlemen Party, he auditioned for a role in a David Mamet play. It didn’t end well. Someone give him a break, please. A face is a terrible thing to waste.
11. Ted posted a video from a violinist who took on the Game of Thrones theme.
12. Fred Willard invented your meme. All of your memes. And he’s here to get paid.
13. An article at The Atlantic suggested that rock is dead, and Ted asked us whether that’s true. If it is, who killed it? Someone take a DNA swab from Nickelback.
14. Becca took exception to a cartoon lampooning the “music nerd,” pointing out that the word “nerd” was being misapplied — music hipster is more like it. And then she played us some Bon Iver and SBTRKT and Beirut, just because.
15. The Big Reveal happened on Friday, with the special guests for the Nerdist Podcast Live at San Diego Comic-Con being announced. Oh, right, they’re Matt Smith and Karen Gillan. Do I hear a squee?
16. We finally got to hear the C2E2 panel with Eliza Dushku and Tahmoh Penikett in a Dollhouse-themed podcast. Worth the wait.
So it was a good week here; I hope your week was good, too, whatever your job may be, even if you happen to be the Pickle Guy in Torrance, in which case I’ll wave at you the next time I’m stuck at that traffic light. And, please, enjoy your burrito. Enjoy it like Ron Swanson enjoys all of his food: