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Staring At Breasts & Miracle Fruit!

Staring At Breasts Makes You Live Longer

Researchers in Frankfurt, Germany found that, for men, staring at breasts for 10 minutes a day was equivalent to 30 minutes of aerobic exercise and could potentially increase lifespan by five years. Well congratulations every single man on earth, you’ll all be living longer than nature wanted you to. And also, scientists? I have a feeling men are way ahead of you. I’m pretty sure most guys do this for upwards of…um…all day.

PS – WTF, no lady studies? I, for one, will be conducting my own study, which will consist of me staring at Alexander Skarsgård for hours on end (this may or may not just be me watching True Blood with glasses and a blank clipboard) – I feel better already!

PPS – I’m uncomfortable with the word ‘breasts’ – it feels like it takes several minutes to pronounce. Can we come up with a new name for them? Not anything that already exists, points for creativity!

**UPDATE**

Oops, several comments/tweets and a call from the boss saying that the ‘Staring At Breasts’ article is fake. 100% true – I apologize! Serves me right for using the *hilarious* @RobDelaney ‘s twitter feed as my scientific source. Still though, I love the fact that someone actually thought to sit down and write this hoax. Germans! *shakes fist* (Next someone will start the rumor that giving hand jobs reverses aging.)

Also, make no mistake, I will be continuing on with my Alexander Skarsgård experiment.

[via MedGuru]

Want!! – Synsepalum dulcificum, aka Giant Miracle Fruit Tree!

Native to Ghana, these unique trees produce a fruit, which when consumed makes sour things taste sweet for about 15-60 minutes. This fruit contains a glyco protein which changes our tastebud’s perception of things like lemons, vinegar, beer, grapefruit, etc. It has long been used as an dietary aid and appetite stimulant for those on going through chemotherapy. I’ve heard it’s pretty trippy and, in fact, “Flavor Tripping Parties” were once very popular in the plant’s hay-day.

Cool Discovery.com video explaining it further here

[via CRFG]

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Comments

  1. Shaikh says:

    Im single men if you want friend with me sadiqali11223344@gmail.Com have a nice day

  2. Randbot says:

    If you want to try the flavor-tripping weirdness yourself, no need to go to Ghana – a mere trip to thinkgeek.com will suffice: http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/ab3f/

  3. HulkATron says:

    This is possibly the greatest research project ever created…I don’t care about your claims that is fake. That is just a ploy to get men not to stare at them. War True Blood!!…even though your Alexander S has been acting a bit gay of late… :)

  4. Ernie says:

    Jell- OOs ’cause jam don’t shake like that.

  5. DefconDan says:

    Fake story or not, I for one am a far healthier fellow for my ocular appreciation of the female breast..

    I can’t say I have better name for them other than to call them ….

    beautiful.

    DefconDan, Breast Lover and Bewbist Extraordinar.

    OMFG the Bewbist.com?!!? Sarah/Chris, GRAB THAT DOMAIN NOW! :)

  6. Nick says:

    I have to agree with Joe, this is a pretty well-debunked myth courtesy of the internet.

  7. Jared Schwager says:

    And just when I thought I’d have a valid excuse to give chicks if they ask why I’m staring at their boobs allb day long the article turns out to be fake.

  8. Angel says:

    Hilarious. I think there was a Late Night joke where Conan cited this study. Then he followed it up by saying that David Hasselhoff was about 78 years old. This must have been during the Baywatch Days. Now I have the phrase “Tit for tat” stuck in my head.

    Also, the miracle fruit blew my mind (and taste buds) so much that I ended up starting a blog about it two years ago. Recently, I started selling the miracle fruit tablets online too. Thanks for giving the miracle fruit its due.

  9. Sarah Clark says:

    @ Ali – I’m SO on board for calling them “Rodneys” – Hilarious.

  10. spicydonut says:

    I think the new name for breast can be applied by your other topic… breasts a.k.a miracle fruits

  11. @Thomas Wood Or if your gym was like the Eric Prydz “Call On Me” video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks

    um…NSFW by the way.

  12. Thomas Wood says:

    I’ve had this idea for years that a gym would be more successful and men would get better results if it also had a stage with dancers.

    “Bye honey, I’m off to get my exercise.”

  13. Eldric says:

    Well, for what it’s worth – “Future Food” on the Planet Green Channel did an episode on the Miracle Fruit where they cooked cactus, weeds, etc. and served it to folks at their restaurant after they’d taken the miracle fruit – and folks absolutely loved that stuff.

    Article is here: http://planetgreen.discovery.com/tv/future-food/feeding-homeless-episode.html

  14. Amy says:

    I’ve always wanted to try those fruits. I personally like sour and vinegary foods, and that would blow my mind! 😀

    as for the boobs thing, my friends and I always loved coming up with silly names for our bouncy houses ( one of the more random ones) and for some reason I’m blanking on them. expect a post later when I finally remember. :) lol.

  15. spade1350 says:

    Synsepalum dulcificum* Subcordatum is in the same family but does not have the miracle affect.

  16. Fae says:

    You can get tablets of freeze-dried Miracle Fruit. It’s a lot of fun, I definitely recommend trying it!

  17. Ali says:

    In terms of new names for breasts, Russell Howard (I think it was he) observed that almost any male name would do…
    e.g. A nice pair of Rodneys…

  18. Lindsay says:

    I’ve been participating in the Alexander Skarsgard study for the past week. Results are very promising.

  19. Don says:

    Some good band names in there:

    “Flavor Tripping Parties” now opening for “Researchers in Frankfurt” on the main stage.

    On the second stage check out “Staring At Breasts” & “The Miracle Fruits”.