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Star Trek: The Next Generation Porn Trailer (Actually SFW)

Am I crazy??? This looks GOOD, right??? Holy crap! Way to raise the bar, porn! The writing seems pretty decent! The effects are surprisingly sharp!

This may be the first time I actually fast forward through the intercourse to get to the story.

Special high fives go to our nerdy pornstress pals Dana Dearmond and April O’Neil for donating their boobies to such a nerdworthy cause!

[Insert NCC-1701-DD joke here]

Comments

  1. the future says:

    Must find this lol!

    Terrible wig on that girl

  2. Bob says:

    Oh this is weird. Seems like they are kind of trying to stick to the mythos of the show. That seems like an unusual amount of attention to give to the details.

  3. Rafflesia says:

    @MAXimiliano S’already been done — look up Katy Manning, aka companion Jo Grant. (NSFW!)

  4. John says:

    I sincerely hope there’s enough Trek fans out there who’ll buy this as opposed to just downloading a copy from somewhere. They’ve REALLY put the effort into this, and if we’d like to see more, I think it should be supported.

    Plus, if this porn somehow winds up making more money than Nemesis, I think I might just die laughing.

    (7.4 million units sold, is the figure to beat guys)

  5. Darren says:

    I had read about this on Fleshbot a little while ago. Sam Hain, who also did the surprisingly good X-Files parody, is the brains behind this. The story, IIRC, takes place right before Yesterday’s Enterprise in continuity.

    It definitely appears to be raising the bar for SFX in porn!

  6. Rebecca says:

    Well, it looks better than “Nemesis,” so it has that going for it.

  7. Patrick Rose says:

    I’m confused. Your statement indicates that you don’t watch porn for the story like a normal person.

  8. Russell says:

    I saw this and just about flipped out. Picard is a dead ringer, as is Ms. Kane as Crusher. April O’Neil makes for a pretty convincing Troi, as well.

    BTW, this really smells of being a parody of one specific episode: Yesterday’s Enterprise from Season 3.

  9. Jesse says:

    Haha! On man I need to get this and show it to my friends. Girls night!! Also really @The_ Nicktator there’s a Golden Girls porn?! Dear God.

  10. MAXimiliano says:

    I can’t wait for the Dr. Who parody. I can just imagine the stuff the daleks will have.

  11. Stephen M. says:

    Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster J.J.Abrams didn’t get his hands on this otherwise it would be all lens flared out.
    It does seem like a better stroyline the Star Trek:Insurrection. I’m an android and I can play in haystacks! Gag.

  12. Sefi says:

    Must watch !
    They need to work on Rikers Beard however :)

  13. Solarmama says:

    @Joe, while I agree Deanna has it going on, plenty of us were Tea, Earl Grey, hot for Mmmm, Picard. :)

  14. Phill says:

    Wow, this looks legitimately great! They even got out to Vasquez Rocks! Also, @paul- Where’ve you been? Of course nerd porn is a thing. There are nerds on the internet, there is porn on the internet… do I gotta connect the dots for you? Newsflash: people who nake porn may in fact be nerds themselves. Looks like that’s definitely the case here.

  15. Joe Seifert says:

    Wow, it’s spot on. I can’t believe it actually draws from real story arcs from the series. I might need to watch this. What nerd didn’t want to fuck Deanna Troi growing up?

  16. Richard says:

    Okay, I’m gay and I would totally watch this for the nerd factor. Very Impressive for porn! I love TNG. Has anyone seen “The Hole” parody of the “The Ring”? It’s the only porn I actually watched all the way through. It’s hysterical.

  17. Tyler Reddun says:

    Maybe it will be like the Batman Porn Parody that had a mode to watch it without the porn at all… yes a Porn movie lets you watch it clean, but then again it was a spot on spoof of the Adam West batman series…

  18. Shannon Dee says:

    Well hell I might have to buy it for the hubby just for S&G’s!!!

  19. SpeedRAcer says:

    Mommy, why isn’t that man’s phaser working ?

  20. DefconDan says:

    Boldy going where most men with huge rods have gone before…

  21. Heidi says:

    That’s a porn? Really?!!! Very impressive. I love TNG

  22. Jonathan says:

    Please tell me I’m not the only sad one that noticed the Sela character is standing in the spike corridor from the Event Horizon engine room. PLEASE?!?

  23. Jay says:

    No, you’re not crazy.

    Someone, who is clearly a real fan of Star Trek, is behind this. Those characters look way too close to the original cast. And some of the actors sound like the original cast.

    It’s like someone said, “Let’s make a Star Trek movie. Oh, we can’t get the licensing? OK, let’s add some porn, and call it a parody.”

  24. Kaempfer says:

    Am I the only one hoping for a funky bass version of the TNG theme to be played at some point during this?

  25. my_leisure says:

    I guess here’s some behind the scenes (SFW)

    http://youtu.be/vBZutwGDO1w

  26. Robin Burks says:

    Dude! Where’s the porn?

  27. heronymus says:

    @paul Boy I hope so. The X-Files movie was a real watershed moment, where the quality of the acting and writing was finally to a point where I didn’t feel icky watching the movie. The sex was just a bonus. If the ST parody does well enough, there may be impetus to continue this move from crappy to good. And I sure wouldn’t mind a BSG or Firefly film, depending on the cast.

  28. paul says:

    X-Files porn? Really? Is nerd porn a thing, now? Can we expect Battlestar Galactica and Firefly “parodies” in the future?

  29. Matthew Bone says:

    My friend Kimberly Kane is Dr. Crusher in this. She won an AVN best actress for her turn as Scully in the X-Files movie. She excels at the nerd stiff, I mean stuff.

  30. Z0mbiegrl says:

    Holy Hawntess, Batman! Talk about Beam Me Up, Scotty! This just might replace Spider Babe, Bat Babe, and Lord of The Strings as my faves…

  31. my_leisure says:

    Too bad there isn’t a Wesley Crusher character.

  32. Bikil says:

    I have been startled into delurking by the surprising goodness of this trailer. I’m going to have to see this one!

  33. RuntCake says:

    I’ll watch it say…15-20 mins at a time?

  34. my_leisure says:

    Yeah I think I’m going to have to pick this up. That and the Scooby Do one. Do they have these on amazon?

  35. Steve W. says:

    Unless my memory has faded a bit over time, one of the reasons the story may look so good is that many of the elements of it seem to be taken from actual episodes. Having said that, it definitely looks like they’re going out of their way to make the movie something to watch from beginning to end. Good for them, and the other studios who have really boosted the quality of their films in recent years.

  36. What’s weird is that for a parody, there doesn’t seem to be any actual humor involved (at least within this trailer). It seems to play like a straight episode – and could that somehow invoke the Wrath of Paramount? Can something really be called a parody if it’s a relatively straight movie that happens to involve bewbs?

  37. brouski says:

    Hones to god, this looks to be on par with the stuff the Star Trek: New Voyages people put out.

  38. @The_Nicktator says:

    It won’t be as good as the parodies of “The Golden Girls” or “The Breakfast Club,” both of which exist.

  39. Hardwick’s right – this actually looks good! the characterizations are seemingly dead on in this trailer – this one is going in the collection. By the way, Chris you realize that you won’t have to change your name should this inspire a new career path, right? ~ TCBW

  40. Liz C. says:

    …holy crap, I may have to see this.

  41. How can they not call it “Star Sex: The Next Penetration” – total pun fail.

  42. It does look tight…special efx…not bad…but come on now…they could’ve used better wigs. LOL

  43. GoddessOfCarbs says:

    HAH! This looks fantastic. My friends and I will have to have a Trek porn party, because we watched the other one together (where the Vulcan jizzed blue cum?) and it was a hysterical group event.

  44. The ship effects actually look really good from what I saw. The lasers however need a little work. I’m a bit taken back by the fact that didn’t really advertise any sex at all in this movie until it was near the end. I’ve never seen a porn parody movie but this might be my first.