If they fly-over states have their way the governor with the eerily appropriate "yahoo" email account will be Second Magistrate of the Unites States. I’m sure you all remember Sarah Palin’s original bid, as that of Miss Alaska. Having narrowly defeated a walrus wearing a bra, Palin was crowned Miss Wasilla and went on to harpoon the second runner-up spot for Miss Alaska 1984. Sure, beauty pageant contestants say things like, "Me want world peace," or "I’m going to be vice president," but for shit sake it doesn’t really happen, right? RIGHT??!
This is the creepiest bit of VP-hopeful activity since Spiro Agnew’s mimeographed butthole and the infamous woodcut depicting Schuyler Colfax maniacally waving his genitals at frightened horses.
*SIDE NOTE: Palin’s Inuit name, Chukyuik, loosely translated means "one whose vagina bites down on fabric."