This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in the U.S., which means that Monday’s a holiday, which in turn means that everyone’s mind checked out by, oh, about Thursday lunchtime. I know mine did. I kept working, but I’m not sure how. For all I know, everything I wrote in the latter part of this week was gibberish. (Go ahead, say it, “it’s always gibberish.” Ha. Good one) But that’s all in the past now; we’ve arrived at the weekend, and we can relax. It’s the unofficial start of Summer, and you’ll want to get to the beach as early as… wait, you haven’t left yet? Too late. The Garden State Parkway won’t move from the Driscoll Bridge south, you might have made the Hamptons by Monday if you left Friday morning, and there are people sitting in cars somewhere in South Jersey on Delsea Drive heading to Wildwood who have been there since last Memorial Day. So maybe you should stay home.
If you’re staying home, you’ll want to barbecue. Burgers are the preferred meal, with hot dogs acceptable as an appetizer and vegetarian options UNAMERICAN. You’ll be cooking for all of your family and friends, so make sure you keep straight how everyone likes their meat, such as medium well, medium rare, rare, bleeding, and cow. You will, of course, fail to successfully cook any of the burgers anything other than well done. You can put the patties on the grill and immediately take them off and they’ll still be well done. And your guests will take them and eat them and like it, because they will have no choice. Overcooking is a cherished holiday tradition. Embrace it.
There’s more to learn about doing Memorial Day right, but it’s already Friday evening and, as I said, my brain’s on vacation, so we’ll save those tips for Independence Day, when they’ll be equally applicable. (You might, in fact, want to start driving to the shore right now for July 4th, just to make sure you’ll get there in time) In the meantime, it should go without saying that Memorial Day means a lot more than burgers and baseball and beer and beaches, that it’s a day to remember those men and women who lost their lives at war. Because it is.
And now, let’s review what turned out to be a quite memorable week around these parts:
1. We started things off with the announcement that tickets for the Nerdist Podcast at Comic-Con — actually, more like Comic-Con-adjacent — are on sale now. If you can make it to San Diego on July 23rd, you should go.
2. Kyle reviewed the latest episode of That Show, the first of a two-parter. It all felt like a setup to him.
3. Mindy showed you the latest in robot technology, namely the Robot Operating System, which may someday make robots really easy to program for whatever you want them to do, or, in other words, there’ll be an app for that.
4. BBC America announced that they’ve signed some guy named Chris Hardwick to host the “Ministry of Laughs” comedy block and a show based on the Nerdist Podcast. I think I can speak for everyone in Nerdist Nation when I say: Squee. Also, Chris is managing to be the first person ever to be working simultaneously with two people named Perry Simon (and now you know why I have to use three names, like an accused assassin).
5. A woman in Malibu is building a home made out of 747 parts. House guests will be charged for meals and baggage after the first bag that fits on the shelf in the closet or under the bed.
6. A trailer for a romantic comedy turned into something else. You liked that a lot.
7. The podcast was visited by Patton Oswalt, who told tales of standup hell, including college gigs that didn’t go well at all and the story behind the infamous Pittsburgh Incident. And while you’re at it, buy his book.
8. Kevin Seccia checked in with an excerpt from his upcoming book “Punching Tom Hanks,” this one on how to beat up Rube Goldberg. It’s not easy, considering all the complicated contraptions you’ll have to best.
9. Matthew B. introduced you to Norton Furniture and its unique commercials airing on local Cleveland TV. Cheesy local ads are always awesome. I could go on for days about local Philadelphia ads — Krass Brothers, Store of the Stars! — but I won’t. Not yet.
10. Chris planked George Takei. If you have to plank, plank George Takei.
11. Bob Dylan turned 70, and several musicians weighed in on their favorite Dylan songs. Everybody’s got one.
12. Oprah’s syndication finale got Ted, and you, thinking about your favorite series finales. It was all a dream!
13. Music made with pants — not what you’d think.
14. The folks at Valve released a Portal 2 soundtrack… for free. Plus ringtones. Free is good.
15. They released a new trailer for The Smurfs. It struck me as something I’m unlikely to go see.
16. A video made on the sidewalks of New York asked, and got answers to, the question: “What song are you listening to?” iPod-wise, that is. What’s on yours? Really? You like THAT?!?
17. The other shoe dropped in the Community–Cougar Town connection, as Abed made his cameo appearance on Cougar Town. Pants-pooping ahoy!
18. We saw Doctor Who opening credit sequence, SNES-style. No Arthur Darvill, though.
19. Another Muppets trailer came out, this time in the style of the Hangover 2 trailer. Nobody in it has a face tattoo, though.
20. The Questionauts came back with another podcast. You didn’t know there’s a co-ed sport in the Summer Olympics, did you? Now you do, sort of.
21. For fans of Star Wars and Withnail and I, A video mashup put Danny the dope dealer’s lines into Yoda‘s mouth. Genius.
22. Ted caught the good people of Grand Rapids, Michigan using an “American Pie” lip dub — the world’s largest — to get revenge on Newsweek for putting them on the “America’s Dying Cities” list. Only Newsweek didn’t do that, one of its “content partners” did. But it was still revenge, sort of. Not really.
23. We found out how to build a urinal made of SNES cartridges.
24. Sex Nerd Sandra showed us how the Tenga Deep Throat Cup (Special Soft Edition) works. Basically, you stick yourself into a cup. Um… yeah.
25. Your questions about the BBC America deal and the Nerdist TV show are answered in the Hostful Podcast. Jonah and Matt will be aboard for the TV show, if Chris can afford their astronomical rates.
And that brings us to now. We’ve had an exciting week here at Nerdist Industries, and there’s even more to come, but now, it’s time to take a break. We’ll be full-strength on Tuesday; until then, as always, enjoy your burrito, even if this week’s is a little overcooked.