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Phirm’s Baby Photo Caption Contest:
RESULTS POST!

milo_results

THE WINNER

PicklePumpers

“How many times do I have to tell you kids! Heisenberg’s uncertainty
principle does NOT negate the possibility of two mutually exclusive
outcomes from co-existing simultaneously!”

…and, of course, there were several worth mentioning…

BEST USE OF TECH
Edward Salazar
“This thing doesn’t even have Wifi!!!

BEST USE OF “BABY POOP”

Jen
“I thought I was clear: ‘Do not let the skinny loud one hold me.’
Perhaps you require a reminder via Pampers Mail?”

BEST (AND FIRST) KANYE REFERENCE
Steven Mullenax
“Yo Phirm, I’m really happy for you…I’m gonna let you finish, but
Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time…of all time.”

BEST “WHY STOP AT A ‘CAPTION'” CAPTION
Jess Colcord
Chris -”Oh my God! He just shat through his clothes! How is that even
possible? What, is he wearing sheer diapers, or something? Where are
you going?”
Mike (laughing) -”Awe, man. Chris…we’re out of diapers.”
Chris – “What?!”
Mike – “Yea. I totally spaced it. Look, I’ll just run to the store
real quick and-”
Chris -”You mean I have to sit here like this until you get back?!? WTF, man?”

BEST SHORT, VAGUE, AND NEARLY MEANINGLESS
tscharf
awww… C’MON!!!

BEST “MY SON IS THE MESSIAH” GAG
Richard Middlen
Prima Donna and Child

BEST HARDWICK-RELATED INSIDE JOKE
Cassie
Milo would never mention ‘cow with udders’ again.

And all entries that tried to capture the raw emotion by starting off
with “What??”

Phirm

———-

Welp, thanks for judging this contest, Mr. Phirman. I received over 500 entries (a new record) and much baby fun was had by all! The Nerdist appreciates the temporary donation of Milo’s captured soul and we now relinquish our grasp on it.

Image: Mike Phirman

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Comments

  1. HESTON says:

    I WANT EVERYONE SO SEE THIS VIDEO AND THE OTHERS OMG MUST SEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2A_cibFmTE

  2. nick palomo says:

    my abortion reference should have one the day. it’s a choice, not a child!

  3. Charlie says:

    about one year ago, the first caption contest garnered merely 50 entries. now look at it! Well done mr hardwick.

  4. Sweet. When do I gets my iTunes gift certificate? I want to spend it with reckless abandon.

  5. Deltus says:

    Did anybody mention, wow, that’s a durned cute baby!

  6. Alan says:

    What’s with all the lamps in the background? I could count 6 of them. Were you and Phirm shopping at a Pottery Barn store with the baby? That would be a funny sight.

  7. Charlie says:

    hah i like the “male cows have no udders, well they dont talk or scheme either” reference

  8. That’s a pretty good one. I came up with like ten of these quotes, but in the process of elimination, before posting them, I realized they were all really stupid.

    Michael

  9. Fia says:

    I would have submitted a caption, but I’m at that point in nearly woman’s life where her biological clock gives her brain BSoD whenever she’s confronted with a good-looking man holding a baby. Sorry.

  10. John Lewis says:

    Umbrage. Yes, umbrage. That’s what I’m taking as a result of the omission of my witty caption. Phirman and Hardwick both will receive a dressing down when they come to Portland.

    But I did like the other submissions. 🙂