There’s something about that romantic love stuff that Ron Swanson kept going on about — it really knows how to make the tables turn, doesn’t it? I mean, heck: it turned everything around for everybody on Tuesday night’s episode of Parks and Recreation — not just Donna and Joe (which, mazels by the way). The union of Regal Meagle and her beloved beau saw not only her shift to married gal, but Ron to gossip-y love-pusher, Tom to all-in boyfriend, and Ben to …potential congressman! I told you things took a one-eighty.
But before we get into politics, let’s get back to love, shall we? Because oh, what a hold it had on our fair and noble meatsman. How quickly the scent of blooming love took hold of the air and turned mushy-mush Swanson (that old so-and-so!) into a babbling brook of love confessions that weren’t his to make. We’re talking about Tom’s off-handed “I’d marry her tomorrow” comment over a hunk of fresh, raw tri-tip. Ron, intoxicated by romantic love’s blossoming kiss quickly told Lucy of Tom’s affections, seemingly unaware that maybe — juuuust maybe! — it was a bit early for all that talk. After all, the poor girl only just broke up with her ex-boyfriend like five minutes ago. Would Donna’s Butler of Honor be crushed by the inconvenience of uneven feelings?
As it turned out, Ron’s continued incompetence in the “I said fix it don’t make it worse!” department was no match for these two crazy kids. Not even the second-hand admission of way-intense feelings could get in the way of these two and their desire to make it work. The only question that remains: Where were you Xena? You could’ve saved Ron from himself!
Speaking of warrior princesses, April was totally in control on the Maid of Honor duties tip, owning the wrangling of the more rambunctious members of Meagle’s cold-blooded crew of judgmental grudge-holders. (You know, family.)
Including, yes, the Pony himself: cousin Ginuwine. “And Ginuwine, get it together!” “Don’t cry, Ginuwine.” And though he did cry a little (taking solace in Andy’s firm but bumbling embrace), the real drama was kept almost totally at bay. That was until the bride confessed to her that she sorta missed all that business. Enter: the not-invited estranged brother LeVondrius (Questlove!), here to bust up some microwaves (much to Donna and Andy’s unbridled glee) and generally make a big ol’ dramatic fuss.
And then there’s that whole Ben Wyatt is running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives thing. At the urging (ha) of Jen Barkley (Kathryn Hahn), the long-awaited political mainstage job in Ben and Leslie’s future has not fallen at the feet of our blessed Lady of Knope but rather with — TWIST! — her husband’s. Oh, the child-mayor failure will get his due, verdamnit, if the world is just and good. Look at all the good his firm fiscal hand has done in guiding Pawnee to bona fide, prosperous American mini-city. Besides, Leslie got her big reward (the Pawnee National Park land) last week — it’s time for Ben’s career win.
Besides, absolutely nothing is wrong when Drunk Ben makes the rules. And the impromptu toasts at rehearsal dinners. “You’re my sexy roommate!” So what if he threw caution to the wind in the middle of the night while completely wasted and didn’t remember committing to running for a seat at the national politics table? He’ll be great! He’s got passion — even on policy at four in the morning.
Everything’s coming up Wyatt, you guys! And we couldn’t be happier for everyone. Mazels, mazels all around!
– I love you, Craig — and I’m really pulling for you and Typhoon — but you will never plan my wedding.
– Gotta get that flatware.
– Ron Swanson on religion: “Those bastards knew how to build an edifice.”
– Leslie Knope’s kids are total monsters of energy and destruction? NO! You don’t say.
– Speaking of the kids: Roz! ( – “Control yourselves Gergiches!”
– “That’s a horrible sound. Ew your life is gross.” “Whoa what was that, that was huge!” – Jen Barkley, child whisperer.
– Let’s hear it one more time for “You’re my sexy roommate!” which is 100% what I will call my husband should I ever get married. I now take you to be my lawfully sexy roommate.
– ♪♬ 867-5309 ♬♪
– Donna had a Pearl Jam album written about her: OooOooOooh. Not surprised.
– After 30 years Garry (no, it’s not even Gary the regular way, that would be too easy) will FINALLY be called by his real name by his colleagues. “Boy I’m blessed.”