Hello sestras and brothersestras alike: this here recap is the epitome of Spoilerville. So unless you’re all caught up on Orphan Black‘s most recent episode, “Insolvent Phantom of Tomorrow,” we’d highly suggest maybe NOT reading this recap. Because we’re serious when we say it is chockablock with spoilers.
Well that was …a thing. After all the build-up of season three thus far, we have to admit all this penultimate bit of Orphan Black business did was raise our expectations for the finale. No pressure, but next week’s finale must blow our teeny, tiny, non-cloned-as-far-as-we-know mind. Because I’ve got to be honest with you, Clone Clubbers: this episode? Not my favorite. Not to say that it was all bad — it’s an episode of Orphan Black and therefore such a notion is scientifically impossible — but after all the forward momentum and crumb-leaving we’d seen in the season thus far, the “big reveal” that the Castor original was…Mrs. S’ mom?! Yeah …we’ve got some questions.
And let me tell you I am at max capacity with questions for this show. Gonna need some answers, folks. Real ones. Like who started this cloning experiment? Why? Are there really more than two factions? Was this illness meant to kill them all? Was Duncan sabotaging his own work? And what does the rest of that damn book say? Why is Sarah able to have kids when the others can’t? Couldn’t she feasibly be an antidote for Cosima just as much if she’s able to fight off the Castor illness? Oh and who was that blonde lady that now has Rachel? Where in the world IS that girl, anyway? Will someone please rescue Krystal? Where’s Marian Bowles? Can we actually trust her?
Can we trust anyone? What about Delphine? Does this mean DYAD is the one to trust in all of this? Do we think she’ll actually kill Shay for knowing too much? Could Cophine possibly survive such an epic betrayal? Will Cosima survive the SEASON? When are they bringing Kira back?!
ALSO: KENDALL MALONE?! Sure, the science checks out, but does this mean Mrs. S knew all along? Did she know her mom was the Castor original this whole time? And if Siobhan is related to the original, does that make her and Sarah and the other clones siblings? We always had an inkling Mrs. S and Sarah might be related (they’re so similar, after all) but, but, but …! Did S steal Sarah away BECAUSE of who she was? If so, why did she play into the mystery? What else is she hiding? Is there more she’s not telling us? And if all of this was a well-orchestrated ruse, what made her choose to adopt Felix, too?
Oh and while we’re at it: why did Siobhan’s “people” know Ferdinand? And while we’re on these “people,” who the HECK are they? To what are they allied? Are they involved with Topside? Maybe the long-lost Neolutionists? Weird Proletheans? Which, speaking of the religious nuts: we were also a bit underwhelmed with the reveal that Gracie was the mole. (We totally thought/assumed it was Dr. Nealon but clearly that was a red herring for the actual red, erm, non-herring.) How long was she the mole? And how would she get in touch with someone in Arlington? Or did they reach out to her? Will Mark actually die? Is he truly a mayfly?
There were even some questions to be had over at the House of Black and White (Game of Thrones fans will get that reference), now that Helena’s gone and murdered the biggest drug dealer in all of Canada. Is Helena the new Jaqen H’ghar? And since she was pretending to be Alison: does this mean Mrs. Hendrix is going to end up in jail? (OH GOD WE HOPE SO: Orphan is the New Black comes to life!) There’s video of Helena-as-Alison entering and exiting the place covered in blood, so: someone’s definitely going down for this, yes? And WHAT is Alison going to think about all of this once she finds out? Will Donnie tell her?
And just for good measure: IS ANGIE GOING TO SHOW UP AT THE LAST SECOND AND RUIN EVERYTHING? Because that also feels incredibly likely.
…Phew. We’re exhausted. Aren’t you? Do you have any questions for the Orphan Black season finale next week? Let’s hear ’em in the comments.