Hello sestras and brothersestras alike: this here recap is the epitome of Spoilerville. So unless you’re all caught up on Orphan Black‘s most recent episode, “Community of Dreadful Fear and Hate,” we’d highly suggest maybe NOT reading this recap. Because we’re serious when we say it is chockablock with spoilers.
At long last, the family’s getting back together. After an entire season of the girls straying out into the world mostly by their lonesome (or at least with minimal cloneswapping), the sestras are being brought back together in bombastic fashion. But, as is the case with any family reunion, Orphan Black knows that things get complicated when family gets together. Particularly when those family reunions take place under the auspices of political gain and fleeing a country. But, such is the way with the Clone Club, folks.
Like any good family squabble episode, we started out with death threats. Helena, of course, has it out for Siobhan. “I will kill S for betraying me,” she asserted, much to Sarah’s annoyance (because let’s be real: she knows Helena is a ferocious, killer puppy — but she’s still a puppy). Luckily, Mrs. S arrived on more of a peacekeeping mission than a wartime gamble, refusing to fight Helena when baited over and over again. Because that’s how grown-ups do, y’all.
She did get one good slap in there, though. Because sometimes a girl’s gotta get told in her own language what’s up.
Across the bar at the cantina, Sarah sat and pondered her Beth dreams as a very suspect-looking waitress who could totally tell Helena was pregnant (and therefore we don’t trust her/know she knows more than she said) looked on. Oh, and how adorable was that Jessie reference? NEVER FORGET, my friends. They will ride off into the sunset with their bebies. I just KNOW IT.
Elsewhere in the cloneisphere, Alison’s campaign for school trustee went off with an incredible amount of hitches (and even a bit of identity swapping). After trying to get her mother on board with her buying Bubbles, Connie — because of course her mother’s name is Connie — went into a bit of an overly emotional tailspin, heading to the election event after Alison was forced to head to the store to calm her. This triggered a series of events that spiraled into hilarity, bizarreness, and Cosima getting kissed on the mouth by Jason Kellerman. (Homegirl was decidedly not down.)
But before we go into all of that — CAN WE TALK ABOUT MR. CHUBBS?! Oh my lord, Mr. Chubbs. What we thought for a moment was an incredibly patronizing and offensive nickname for our dear and beloved Donnie was actually — TWIST! — his actual real last name. Because he took Alison’s last name. Because of course he did/of course Connie requested as much. Oh my god, what a nugget of a character detail. Right? Donnie Chubbs. Alison Chubbs. Oh what a world it could have been.
Of course we have to admit, Donnie’s life probably improved with his taking a last name like Hendrix. It’s a heck of a lot less easy to humiliate a person when their last name isn’t a complete entryway to Tauntsville. Would Donnie Chubbs have kissed Alison like that in front of Jason Kellerman to make him jealous? Would Donnie Chubbs had the balls to stand up to Jason? I mean maybe/probably because a name does not make the man, but one could easily imagine a world wherein that would be much harder were his name still Donnie Chubbs.
It was nice to see Felix interacting more with the clones again (both Alison and Cosima), though we’re still waiting for a bit more autonomy from him. Maybe next episode? We’re sorta tired of seeing him as the facilitator, especially when we gained so much more interesting character insight in the previous two seasons. But maybe next week! Like we said, we’re holding out hope.
The episode was largely the Hendrix show, what with Ali telling Felix about their narcotics empire and Cosima showing up and playing stand-in for Alison as she ran around trying to switch out the drug money for her trustee candidate application. All poor Cosima wanted was a little bit of pee (because for now at least, they’re trying to work with DYAD to figure out what’s going on with their defect), but instead she got dressed up as Alison and hoisted into photos and onstage to give a speech (all while accidentally telling the world that Alison Hendrix is a lesbian and coughing herself into quite a fit). Oh, and she also fielded a kiss from Jason Kellerman intended for the actual Alison, which she seems to be bummed to have missed out on. UH OH! It’s a TEAM HENDRIX interloper!
Perhaps the most fun and/or offensive (depending on how you feel about old people racism), was when Alison introduced Cosima to her mother Connie. “I wanted better stock for my child, so I engaged the clinic to get an upgrade,” she offered after admitting to Alison that her father was not, well, her father (no duh/way to be late to the party, Connie because we’ve been there/done that ages ago). The newly empowered Alison decided to see just how much her mother knew about how “special” her daughter was by introducing her to Cosima as her clone. To which Connie said with disbelief, “Alison. That girl is mulatto.” Which — hooooooooomygoodness holy offensive commentary, Batman! But also of COURSE her mother would say that. Of course.
Still: gotta love that more and more people are being tipped off on the C-word.
Elsewhere, Cosima’s caught up in a love triangle, with Delphine interjecting herself into Cosima’s relationship with Shay. Which, if we’re being honest, we’re sorta glad about. We just do not trust Shay for whatever reason. Yes she’s cute and they’re adorable together, but something about her and how sketchy she was acting during this episode (plus just her general vibe these past few), has us feeling that she’s some sort of spy for something or someone. Maybe Castor? Topside? DYAD? Something else entirely? Who knows, but the tension between them is pretty fantastic either way.
And with the medical issue returning to the forefront of the cloneversation, it seems now is the perfect time for the Leda girls to either team up with — or run far, far away from — their DYAD allies. It’s hard to know who to trust over there, though (HELLO Dr. Nealon anyone?).
Which brings us, of course, to Rachel. After we realized last week that Rachel can read the cipher, Scott went to work on trying to bring Rachel into the Clone Club fold. Using his medieval farm building game as a ruse to get time with the Cyclone, the two scheme and plot a way forward. Does this mean the clones are going to get her out of DYAD? It’s hard to tell but feels pretty likely given how Rachel ended things: declaring she would only tell the translated material to Sarah. Because of course she would.
So that’s where we’ve left it folks, and let me tell you: it feels like we’re in for a doozy next week. I mean, we’ve sorta earned it at this point, no? This season’s had a lot of threads brought in and we’ve still got a literal fuckton of questions that need — if not answers — at least an acknowledgement. So we’ll have to wait and see about what’s looking to be a batshit-in-the-best way episode eight.
Oh and best line of the night goes to Jason Kellerman for this gem to Donnie: “Consider your territory pissed on.”
What’d you think of the episode? Let us hear it in the comments!
GIF Credit: Giphy 
Alicia Lutes is the Associate Editor of The Nerdist. Find her on the Tweet Machine @alicialutes.