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Nick Offerman’s New SHOWER THOUGHTS Will Make You See the World In New Ways

We’ve been over this before: We’re in love with Nick Offerman and everything he does. His wife is one lucky lady and we’re jealous people can’t marry entire websites and writing staffs. If that ever becomes a thing, we hope Megan Mullally is cool with sharing her husband with us.

In a recent video on Mashable’s Watercooler channel, Offerman gifted the world a sequel to his 2014 installment of Simply Genius Shower Thoughts with Nick Offerman with the ingeniously named Genius Shower Thoughts with Nick Offerman, the Sequel. In the video, Offerman captivates us as he lays down some profound thoughts in his distinctly calm and serious tone. Served up much in the same manner of humorist Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts, the ideas Offerman ponders are as absurd as they are insightful.

Offerman notes that you can make any restaurant a drive-thru with enough acceleration, that beef jerky is essentially “meat raisins,” and that candy shouldn’t ever really be in a baby’s possession in the first place. We’re going to just call it here though and say that the two best thoughts in the video have to be:

“Jedi Knights close all their applications using ‘Force Quit'”

and

“‘College Ruled’ is both a type of paper and something losers say.”

We’d be completely fine if Offerman and Mashable made this a frequent series because there’s quite literally no point at which hearing these thoughts in that voice would ever get old. Entire albums of this should be played on repeat at spas.

What are your favorites from the video? Do you think Nick Offerman would be open to being hired to follow us around at all times reciting similar thoughts? Let us know in the comments below!

Image: Mashable Watercooler

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