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Neutralize Threats with Registration Symbols!

Does your building have a graffiti problem? Of course it does!  Well, rather than painting over it every couple of days, why not try neutralizing it by adding registration symbols to it. Turn this…

…into this!

No cause for alarm here!  It’s completely Harmlessified™!

By simply adding ™ or ®, you can quickly turn any scary subversive street scribble into something that’ll have visitors thinking, “Fantastic!  There’s apparently another energy drink I need to try!  I don’t feel threatened in any way!”

Just look at these Success-o-pics™:

And it doesn’t stop there!  Considering getting your badass tattoo removed so that you don’t stand-out at your new job at the daycare?  Well, before you do, think about this:  Why remove the whole tattoo when you can just remove its soul? Blandify™ it, like this…

or this…

Remember:  there’s no image so tough that it can’t be Tamed-&-Lamed™ by branding it as officially registered.

*NOTE: if you’re the guy pictured in either of those tattoo pictures and you’re thinking about killing me, before you do, know that I found them by googling the phrase “badass tattoo”.

Find more Phirm HERE!

Comments

  1. chris says:

    Until the artist catches you and beats your ass with a krylon can

  2. Fidel Castro says:

    But according to this, screaming “REGISTERED TRADE MARK” will render the rapist useless.

  3. Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr says:

    Doesn’t the “screaming crazy” gimmick always work in raping and muggings?

  4. Fidel Castro says:

    Wait, so does this mean when a serial rapist is attacking me in the parking lot I can just scream “REGISTERED TRADE MARK” and go on my merry way?

  5. dragoncores says:

    Very interesting. *scratches head* I cant read any of it so I dont see the problem. but the art work is good. I think *scratches head again*

  6. Nando says:

    Hahaha!! That’s pretty nifty.

    lols @ “Only God Can Fudge Me” comment above.

  7. Hey! It’s actually working on me! Those symbols render the graphitti literally harmless to my vision…GREAT JOB!

  8. uncachable says:

    Just add a (R) symbol to any graffiti and other copycats will instantly stop copying your graffiti. It’s that scary.

  9. Ah, thanks for the catch Mathew, I’m in that dead zone between “knowing how to code the superscript” and “knowing that kryptonite powers the site, or wouldn’t allow it.” I tip my hat to your superior nerdiness.

  10. deb says:

    Thoroughly enjoyable! TM

  11. Tera says:

    Mike’s comment above is fantastic. “Only God can Fudge Me” is a much better tattoo. You can find it by googling “Super badass tattoos.”

  12. Mike says:

    Why does it say “Only God Can Fudge Me” on that guy’s back?

  13. Matthew says:

    There’s no superscript because the site is powered by Kryptonite.

  14. Damn, my HTML has failed me, no superscript . . . oh well, you’ll all just have to use your imagination.

  15. LOL, great idea, but remember some things are made infinitely more scary by a TM symbol. If you ever want to know real terror, buy a can of “Cheeeze Spread TM” and dig in.