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Episode 216: Nerdist Podcast
Sklar Brothers
Nerdist PodcastNerdist Podcast

Nerdist Podcast: Sklar Brothers

The hilarious twins Randy and Jason Sklar come on to talk sports (yes, sports!) with Matt, they come up with cat based web video and discuss their new show United Stats of America, now on The History Channel!

Check out the Sklars’ show United Stats of America on The History Channel!

Comments

  1. Patty Marvel says:

    @Doctor Quemmento – “meiosis hostess?” DAMN, man, I’ve gotta write THAT one down!

  2. Josh says:

    @Doc Ha! Well I WAS going to say, “Thanks for the mammaries,” but instead its: Oh yeah, well YOUR zygote boat is so old, Sir Isaac Newton met her in a bar and was like, “I got her numbah, how ’bout dem apples?”

    @Diane M. Martin I thought about doing a science-y yo mama joke in Gersebermese (yer mermer!), but then realized that would be way, way too ridiculous.

  3. @Josh
    Yeah I’d say it’s well and truly milked. Well… almost. Cus your meiosis hostess is so cosmically huge that Neil Degrasse Tyson has tweeted about her.

  4. Josh says:

    LOL Still the funniest comment thread ever. Not sure I can come up with anything funnier than “Higgs Bosom”. Maybe it’s time I give it a breast?

  5. Ben Z says:

    And now I’m going to take a nap, because I apparently replaced “air” with “error.” How the heck did that happen?

  6. Ben Z says:

    Wait a second. The video replay of Jonah’s spill shows Matt bumping Jonah’s elbow that startles Jonah into coughing up his beer. A reaction based in a primal instinct of gasping extra error in a brief moment of terror.

  7. HoboEater says:

    Your maternal genealogy is so unevolved that even Anopheles Quadrimaculatus would not use your most direct ancestor’s hematophagy to nourish its offspring.

  8. Nerdist comment threads are the only comment threads worth reading. They are the only ones that don’t make me sad or angry. Happy Monday everyone.

    Your female progenitor has 99 problems but getting a sandwich ain’t one.

    There is a horrible horrible joke mash up. I am almost too embarrassed to click on Post Comment.

  9. @Josh
    Oh yeah? Well your former incubation and gestation station is so incredibly voluminous that her recent trip to Iceland took a turn for the disastrous when all air traffic above said country had to be redirected after the local cuisine irritated the stratified squamous epithelial tissue of her descending sigmoid colon causing a flatulent outburst of mythological proportions.

  10. Patty Marvel says:

    @QuasarSniffer – NICE series there, dude or ma’am! BTW, is your screen name a variation on “cakesniffers?” Would you happen to be a Lemony Snicket fan?

    • QuasarSniffer says:

      Thanks Ms. Marvel! I happen to be a dude, but my name is not a Lemony Snicket reference. Nothing against the books, I’ve just never read them.

      The female source of your genetic material is so old…
      -She would yell at Triceratops to get off her lawn.
      -When she says “back in my day,” she’s speaking metaphorically, because she was around before the giant molecular cloud of pre-solar gas coalesced and collapsed, forming our solar system.
      -She can provide direct visual confirmation of the inflationary model of the Big Bang Theory, thereby negating the Horizon Problem.

  11. Nick says:

    Your maternal unit is of such considerable mass, that had she been an Apollo astronaut, the Saturn V would have needed a fourth stage…

  12. Josh says:

    @Doc Nope. Not crazy at all! Also, you maternal progenitor is so tiny, she suckled you in her higgs bosom.

  13. @Kevin
    I also thought it was a bit odd that someone would say that they thought that keeping an open mind was important and then proceed to say that they would only listen to someone else’s argument if they met qualifier X, Y, and Z. That, to me, sounds like the opposite of an open mind.

    That said, I thought that your post was hilarious because it’s probably the most perfect, unintentionally ironic, meta thing I’ve seen in quite some time. You’re complaining in a douchebag, holier-than-thou way that someone else was (from your point of view) complaining in a douchebag, holier-than-thou way, that other people (from their point of view) are acting in a douchebag, holier-than-thou manner. Doucheception!

    You can’t do the very thing you’re complaining about in the complaint itself and expect anyone to take you seriously. And, shockingly enough, the fact that the Sklar brothers spent ten seconds of an hour long podcast saying something that I disagreed with, didn’t ruin my whole day, or even the podcast itself! What a concept! I can disagree with people on certain issues and still retain the belief that they’re intelligent, funny and entertaining! Is it just me? Am I the crazy one?

  14. Josh says:

    @Kevin — Agree strongly with your basic statement, that if Americans want their political discourse to change for the better, it’s starts with how we talk about each other. Disagree strongly with the venue for that statement. This is a comedy show, bud. These guys’ primary concern is making you and me laugh, not changing the nature of the American political landscape. Please try not to take this stuff too seriously.

    @Everyone else — Your female progenitor is so corpulent, when she sits around the house, I mean it’s seriously an elliptical path not dissimilar from that of Mars around the sun.

  15. Evan says:

    Your female progenitor is so completely lipid filled that the Adipose First Family could have only used her for all of their breeding needs.

  16. Matt Grandis says:

    Your birthgiver’s parenting skills are so poorly developed that her offspring did not mature past the infant stage and has a penchant for excessive lachrymation.

  17. Kevin says:

    My favorite part of this episode was when they all agreed that we could use a lot more civility in our political discourse and also those crazy right-wingers are loons we won’t even talk to unless they agree with how we feel about our sacred cow issues. Fuck them, amirite?

    Classy, fellas. If you’re wondering why there’s scant civil discourse in politics, I believe you’ve uncovered it.

  18. Patty Marvel says:

    “Your maternal unit is so dense, light bends around her.”*

    And from the Hubby…

    “Your Mama’s so dumb, when they told her to calculate PI, she asked what flavor..”

    “Your Mama’s so crazy, she thought the phases of the moon were happy, sad, angry…”

    “Your Mama’s so fat…wait, that’s not a Mama, THAT’S A SPACE STATION! CHEWIE, GET US OUTTA HERE!!”

    *I sure hope that joke worked – LONG time since I sat in a science class.

  19. Matt Grandis says:

    Your mother has only one PhD. In social science.

  20. Josh says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Funniest. Comment thread. Ever.

  21. QuasarSniffer says:

    The owner of the vagislide you erupted from is so obese…

    Her blubbery fat rolls make whales jealous from the warmth they must provide in the winter.
    The light going around her waist experiences significant gravitational lensing.
    Her stomach rolls, due to their depth and number, are used by geologists to mark the epochs of Earth’s evolution.
    The redshift experience by the light travelling from one side of her ass to another exceeds that of the most distant quasars (trust me, I know).

  22. Robnoxious says:

    Iron is Fe, and stainless steel is less susceptible to oxidation, however your maternal unit’s birth canal encompasses a volume greater than that of the International Space Station.

  23. Nic says:

    Your maternal unit is so large that if she were an element, she would have a larger atomic radius than Francium

  24. Nic says:

    Your maternal unit is so large that if she were an element, she would have a larger atomic radius than Francium!

  25. Matt Grandis says:

    When your mother took the Mensa exam she only achieved the bare minimum qualifying score.

  26. critter42 says:

    Your female progenitor is so mentally deficient that she is at least 4 Standard Deviations from the statistical norm on the Weschler Adult Intelligence Scale.

  27. stephen says:

    your XX chromosomal parent is so obese that her circumference is now longer measured in centimeters, but measured in meters.

  28. sasha says:

    nerdy take on a classic:

    your XX chromosome contributor absorbs so many light photons, that when she exits a motor vehicle, the low oil indicator is triggered

  29. Arieh says:

    Your genetic material provider is so un-asthetically pleasing that they need to make her mirrors in 360p standard definition.

  30. Ryan says:

    In regards to the Yo Momma joke brigade in here:

    OHHHHHH SNAP!

  31. Arieh says:

    Your momma is so ugly that they need to make her mirrors in 360p standard definition.

  32. D says:

    The female originator of one half of your genetic material was so most egregiously lacking in typical facial bone structure that early 20th Century scientists once briefly quarantined her as the last scion of the Piltdown man.

  33. Perhaps all of what you two have said is purely factual, but it doesn’t change the fact that your mothers recently joined a weight loss program and were so successful that the IAU downgraded them from planets to dwarf planets.

  34. Josh says:

    Yo mama’s got an ocular prosthetic with an osteichthyes in it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImhN6-9KLTY

    This conversation took me to the Pharcyde. Had to go!

  35. Matt Grandis says:

    Doc, the senescence of the receptacle of your paternal spermatozoa is so advanced, the geocentric model was still the general consensus in her youth.

  36. Josh says:

    @Doc Your paternal unit fertilized your material unit’s eggs in a particle collider. Actually, wait, that’s a compliment, I take it back… Your paternal unit did NOT fertilize your maternal unit’s eggs in a particle collider. Ha! Take that you rogue!

  37. sylvatron says:

    Yeah, my twin sister and I have that weird hand thing too! Maybe it’s electromagnetic. It’s just awkward. I’m glad to hear that it’s not just us.

  38. Benny says:

    What you clowns call “docking” is actually snoodling. Look that shit up.

  39. Wait, that doesn’t quite work logically. Oh well.

  40. @Matt and Josh
    Both of your X chromosome contributors are so unabashedly promiscuous that the time-lapse Venn diagrams of the entire male population and the portions of the male population that have copulated with them are beginning to resemble a total solar eclipse.

  41. Josh says:

    lol — sorry… just laughing at the fact that I went with “your mom” this time around for some reason.

  42. Josh says:

    (@Matt: Maybe that’s why I’m so unique? (c:)

    Oh yeah? Well — Well YOUR mom is so stolidly insensate, she thinks “positronium” is the name of a happy disco dance craze from the 70s. “Now wiggle your hips, y’all — it’s POSITRONIUM!”

  43. Matt Grandis says:

    Josh, your female parent confirms so poorly to social standards of physical appeal that only approximately 1.2% of fertile males would consider procreating with her.

  44. Josh says:

    Regarding ‘garbage bagging’ — “Let’s be honest, a lot of things have to happen for that to work out.” Good lord. Almost died on that one. Oh man, what a hilarious episode! Also, siamese twins conjoined at the chest hair sounds amazing. Anyone feel like drawing that?

    @Katie I’m with you on the TIger Woods stuff. Sex addiction? Puleeze.

    @Matt Oh yeah? Well, YOUR maternal figure’s ratio of adipose tissue is so disproportionate, she’s exactly 13.64% more likely to become diabetic in the next ten years and three months. And five days. And two hours. And twenty-seven minutes. And thirty-five seconds. Thirty-four. Thirty-three. Thirty-tw—- uh, You might want to talk to a doctor. Here’s five numbers. Sorry.

  45. Katie says:

    Fucking Hardwick interrupted a really great sports conversation.

    JK (not JK)

    :)

    RE: Tiger Woods, the issue (as far as I’m concerned) wasn’t him cheating on his wife, it was him being so ridiculously sloppy despite all of his holier than thou endorsements that he made millions off of and trying to prove himself to be a role model. He is without question one of the greatest athletes of all time and to be sullied by affairs is pathetic. But he ultimately allowed that to happen. He got cocky. I have zero sympathy.

    His best move in life isn’t his talent, it’s that his ex-wife/mother of his children is a very classy lady and settled peacefully.

    Anyway, loved this episode!

  46. Jake says:

    @alex, yes, Janet Varney is the main voice on Legend of Korra.

    That’s a little personal to him so I can’t really answer your second question.

    p.s. she also has a podcast on this nerdist site called the J.V. Club.

  47. alex says:

    Is it true that chris’ ex is the lead actress on the avatar cartoon?

    If so, would that prevent him from watching it?

  48. Rob S. says:

    If Charlotte got the 1st draft pick what did Miranda get? Ramsey got Oxygen but not Lifetime or Bravo? I know a pair of redheaded twins. How rare would is that?

  49. Matt Grandis says:

    Your female genitor is of such disproportionate volume, I’m simply baffled.

  50. CXRengel says:

    Thanks for inviting them back a second time.