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Episode 63: Nerdist Podcast
Nerdist PodcastNerdist Podcast

Nerdist Podcast #63: WIL. WHEATON.

Wil. Whea. Ton. FINALLY. Never before heard stories of young Wil and young Chris: Strippers! D&D! Surgery! Saucy Picard! This episode will smear goodness onto the walls of your entertainment gland.

This episode was sponsored by Falcon Northwest Computer Systems!

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  1. bertman4 says:

    You know, you often speak of D&D. I’m sure you know that Wil did a series of D&D podcasts with the Penny Arcade guys. Have you thought about perhaps doing a Nerdist D&D podcast session? I’m sure Wil can introduce you to DM Chris Perkins. I think it would be awesome!

  2. Mez says:

    This is now my acquired listening during the morning metro commute. Sweet jeebus this was hilarious

  3. Stephanie says:

    I feel like I just attended W00tstock at my desk at work…classic and fucking fantastic. Hot damn.

  4. Oystein says:

    Where is the file ? – please fix it ! Pretty please!

  5. Lindsey Dailey says:

    So- I had the BRILLIANT idea to start listening to these podcasts with a single earbud while at work. This plan was working well until this episode. Midway through the phone call to Virginia about the escaped snake I failed entirely to supress the laughter resulting in snort, laugh, tears, earbud popping out! Perhaps the tweakaudio earbuds will solve this problem? =)

  6. LAuronist says:

    Oh this was fantastic! Wil Wheaton was my first crush, I think he still makes me a little wooby.

  7. So I have never laughed so hard or felt more nerdy during a podcast…Thank you!

  8. Syrenmuse says:

    I’ve listened to this more than once. I’ve never done that for any podcast. It was beyond my nerdy dreams. I immediately went out and bought the earbuds to enable sopping up your sweet sweet geeky sauce.

  9. Nate Balding says:

    Wil Wheaton on Nerdist; dream come true.

    One complaint: I’m listening to the show, enjoying myself when all of a sudden the image of a man getting a face full of spider vagina is conjured and CANNOT BE ERASED FROM MY SUBCONSCIOUS BRAIN. Good lord, Hardwick, going down on a spider? That’s less an amusing joke and more some form of eternal damnation passed down from an eldritch being containing the essences of HP Lovecraft and Heironymous Bosch! Now there is a new hell to fear and Nerdist is the point of germination from whence it has sprung.

    Seriously fantastic show – I think it’s the best thing I listen to on a regular basis. Ending missive on either Excelsior or Make Mine Nerdist – Your choice, Citizen of a Republic!

  10. Katrina Futch says:

    The goldfish bowl. I don’t know why, I just… I LOST IT. Hahhahahahahahaha.

  11. Ashhole says:

    Listen, the dick throwing up thing was a fucking riot and I have to add the movie “Teeth” to the genre. Yes, it was a vagina with teeth that technically spit it out but that is practically a mouth in this case. Plus she took a total of 3 dicks which I believe means her vagina is bulimic.

    This is the most vulgar comment I have ever posted-thankyousomuch for that and your awesome shows!

  12. Sean Gately says:

    Chris, Matt & Jonah,
    You guys continue to knock them out of the park. Meeting Wil was top notch. I love it when my idols of bygone days have become adults I’d love to hang out with.
    Sean Gately

  13. Murphy1d says:

    Loved the podcast, especially this episode. It’s strange how the degrees of separation started to get intertwined once I watched my first episode of ZDTV back in the day. I found my “Clan of the Bumblebees” from that day forward.

    Just the list of people and companies who were intertwined is insane: (Must begin with he who begat) Leo Laporte, ZDTV, Kate Botello, TechTV, Patrick Norton, Jessica Corbin, Cat Schwartz, Sarah Lane, Martin Sargent, Morgan Webb, Adan Sessler, Kevin Rose, Digg, Alex Albrecht, Diggnation, Kevin Pereira, G4, X-Play, ComicCon, DragonCon, Revision3, inDigital, Wil Wheaton, WootStock, MythBusters, Adam Savage, Grant Imahara, Tekzilla, Veronica Belmont, TWiT, Totally Rad Show, Scam School, Brian Brushwood, NSWFshow, AOTS, Olivia Munn, Chris Gore, Layla Kaylee, Alison Haislip, Chris Hardwick, Nerdist, Kevin Smith, Smodcast, Fleshlight ( did that get in there, scratch that).

    Point being, Chris is definitely a “Sphere of Influence” in all of this interconnection. Thank you sir!

  14. Holly says:

    This was such an AWESOME podcast, favorite so far. I’m such a Wil fan and it was hilarious hearing about random shenanigans. LOVED IT

  15. Metz says:

    Episode #63: Best. Podcast. Ever.

  16. Oppez says:

    Loved it! You gotta get Wil back on the show again soon.

  17. Derek Harju says:

    This was a goddamn victory cake! Seriously guys, you kill it on a weekly basis and the hostful podcasts have been better than most. The fact that you’ve set the bar so high and continue to just destroy it over and over is amazing. I used to listen to 5 or 6 podcasts at work everyday and now I just re-listen to nerdist OVER AND OVER. Please continue to do excellent work, also; Jonah, feel better, hope the wing heals quick. Matt, hope you’re free from your retail bonds sooner rather than later, and Chris PLEASE DO A SHOW IN PHOENIX! Thanks guys.

  18. Chris M says:

    good stuff as always!

  19. Gabriel says:

    So am I the only negative guy here?! I missed Matt and Jonah talking shit on this! THEY WERE SO QUIET FOR THE ENTIRE THING!

    ps Will sounds like a nice dude

  20. Da_Bill says:


    I’ve never managed to listen to a Podcast for more than half an hour before losing interest. But after coming across your Twitter account a few weeks back I decided to check this site out and have now spent over 2 1/2 hours listening to your podcasts!

    Thank you for providing me with such an entertaining evening. I haven’t laughed this much in over 3 months!

    Keep up the excellent work, and I guarantee that this is one podcast I will definitely keep listening to.


  21. jason says:

    oh wow.. this episode was EPIC!!

    thank you so much for such a fun listening experience.. it felt like I was hanging out with two friends just listening to great stories.

    Oh yeah, and jonah and matt, too!

    so 4 friends, then!

    thank you!

  22. Stephanie Nelson says:

    Ok I don’t know if your ever read this but I thought of the best/funniest guest you should have on nerdist podcast. His name is Karl Pilkington, from the Ricky Gervais show. He is hilarious because he just views the world so differently. If you have him you must read some of his diary because its just ridiculous, he loves to talk about the death of insects and his book of 50 freakiest things in the world. Please try and find him. Chris Hardwick you rock!!!

  23. Chris R says:

    I loved every minute of this episode. It made me feel like when my friends and I sit a round bullshitting about the good ol days. Keep it up and do you have any pictures of when you and Will were younger. You should post some.

  24. MICKER says:

    Why isn’t this on fucking Itunes already? I just refreshed stuff this morning and this one wasn’t on there yet. Come on already!

    I demand satisfaction for the free thing that I don’t have to pay for where you do all the work!

  25. mr. g says:

    It seemed to me that Jonah and Matt are not quite sympathetic with Wheaton. This podcast was sort of awkward….

  26. smartbunny says:

    I remember the movie Fag Hag because my bf-at-the-time worked for Troma Team Video and would design the DVD covers (I designed one as well, so that’s my Troma claim to “fames”) and they wanted Wil on the cover really big since he was the only famous person in the movie.

  27. Carol says:

    I work in Washington, and just wanted you to know I used the phrase “Well, that’s like fucking a snake out of a cage” in response to a lobbyist’s ridiculous suggestion in a meeting yesterday. And last night, I saw him at a party, and overheard him using the phrase — in response to something totally different, but nonetheless, he thought it wise/cool/awesome enough to repeat.

  28. Will says:

    The Dirt Bike Kid was an epic movie!

    kids on flying dirtbikes > badass bikers with beards

  29. Sarah says:

    You and Will made me look foolish as I shout laughed in the middle of the shop. Great pace, great stories. I now love Will Wheaton, should’ve always done.

  30. Niki says:

    Imagine me, on my lunch break, sitting in my car, iPod headphones on. LAUGHING MY BUM OFF. The looks I got by people passing by was classic. One even knocked on my window asking if I was okay. I told them I was, but honestly, I may have peed a little.

  31. dirk says:

    I was a proud owner of an autographed Wil Wheaton book. After this Podcast I am an uberproud owner. What an awesome delight to hear him reference the HYDRATUBES!! Being from Eugene I rode those tubes but had long since forgot them. Thanks for all the free brain tickles. (Wow, what a creepy message…)

  32. RadNerd says:

    Chris, Fucking AWESOME Episode! Btw, Pereira & Alex Pardee are guesting on my show next month, maybe you can at some point as well. We can play with each others Sonic Screwdrivers.

  33. Kid Notorious says:

    Maybe the best Nerdist yet… Well done Hardwick…

    *pop* Ba dum bum bum…

  34. Debbie says:

    Red wine, bubble bath, and The Nerdist Podcast. Life is good.

  35. Martin J says:

    Finally got round to listening to this on my dreary 2 hour commute this morning. I would like to thank you for getting me practically thrown off my quiet 7 am train due to random outbursts of giggles and laughter not normally appreciated at that time of the morning.

    Could easily have listened to another 2 hours of that podcast and not once have felt bored.

  36. Archer says:

    No, I am not Luke Skywalker,
    nor was ever meant to be…

    Apologies to T.S.E.

  37. smartbunny says:

    Chuck; there’s a Nerd Tattoo thread on The Node.

  38. JetpackBlues says:

    That was 1:49:02 of pure awesome. Thanks for getting together and giving that to the world for free. Wish I could have witnessed it in person.

    I was told once that “remember when (?) is the lowest form of conversation”, but as you realize that you’ve known someone for a decent chunk of your life, and you get together on occasion to just catch up, it reminds you why you still return to those days and giggle uncontrollably until you can’t breathe.

    I just listened to that, between two people I only know by the media they produce, and laughed right along.

    Again, heartfelt thanks for getting Wil on, tackling it live, and making it an event. Definitely a keeper.

  39. Chuck says:

    That was so Vader Pussy, one of my favorite episodes to date! I grew up watching TNG and loved Wil’s character. Data was my favorite and I actually have LT Commander pips tattooed on my lower neck.


  40. Julie says:

    It’s rare I listen to a podcast.

    Rarer still if I listen to one, that I listen to it all the way through.

    Even rarer yet that I pay attention to every bit of it if I listen all the way through.

    This podcast had me riveted, completely laughing my guts up.

    Thank you. This was just completely excellent in every way.

  41. Joeshabadoo17 says:


    I stumbled on this site a day ago via Sarah silvermans’ site and I have listened to about 1/3 of the podcasts (Currently on vacation, not a creepy basement leper). I want to really really really thank you guys for this. You are the missing link in the alt comic movement that I’ve been devouring recently. I’ve netflixed and watched all of comedians of comedy (Troubadour, El Ray, Movie, TV). I’ve been moved to devour the entire LA alt comic scene and until I found this site I didn’t realize there was a hub.

    You are that hub sir. Each spoke of comedic gold somehow connects to you (You’ve known Zach Galifianakis and Brian Posehn and Maria Bamford and Patton Oswalt for a decade) and I was completely ignorant of this fact. Then, I heard this podcast and you were fucking roommates with Wil Wheaton!?!?!?

    At the same time I’m trying to intake as much of the LA/ALT Comic scene as possible I’m trying to watch ST: TNG from 1st to last season and relive my childhood nerdy obsession chronologically. So another spoke protrudes from the hub and connects to another related, albeit remotely, love of mine. You are the center of a venn diagram of Awesome!

    I knew you from G4 vaguely but I mostly browse the G4 site and only watch the feed (Sorry but Cheaters, Cops, and Ninja Warrior reruns are all I get to see on the channel because I work night shift and only watch during he morning. They tend to blend into a blur of people running constantly). I do love G4, as it stands as a beacon to all types of nerds. Yet again, you are connected to something awesome that I love.

    I just read Patton Oswalts book and he spoke of playing D&D (Another favorite past time of mine) with friends and I naturally assumed Brian Posehn was one of the players but I was intensly curious as to who was awesome enough to play D&D with my favorite comics. All was revealed when you did your podcast with Brian and again you’re the missing connection.

    At this point I’m rambling and basically saying you’re awesome by proxy, but the quality of your podcasts and your sense of humor are great. I LOVE the fact that you ask about every comedians processes for writing. I am that kind of nerd who likes to categorize comedic styling’s and understand the inner workings of their acts. You engage each guest in a very slick, entertaining, informative way that could never be done on television (Not to dis the classic Late Night format, I love Conan). I even love that Falcon is your sponsor for Christ sakes!

    At this point I’m creeping everyone out by gushing like a fanboy but I sincerly enjoy your podcast and wish you and your team, who are also hilarious, the best in the world. I’ve become a HUGE fan of yours in a matter of two days. If you come within the vicinity of Harrisburg PA, Baltimore MD, or Philadelphia PA, I will pay whatever you charge to see you live and support your act. Again, thank you.

  42. The Bradical says:

    That Chris Hardwick sure knows how to make a spider cum!

  43. Chris Hardwick says:

    Deadsey was one of the shorts in the Spike & Mike Sick & Twisted Festivals we used to attend.

    Also, NO. NECK. JOE.

  44. S.L.H. says:

    Whoa, what’s Hardwick’s connection to Deadsy?!

  45. LEON says:


  46. Victoria says:

    I think I threw up a dick laughing when Stand by Me started playing in the end. Nice touch boys. (2nd favorite guest to date btw)

  47. Sarah B says:

    God damn it!

    Good podcast.

  48. Jerssica says:

    Holy crap, this episode is SUCH A DELIGHT! You and Will chatting just had me grinning all morning.

    Also, if you are unaware, there is a musical written about Bat Boy called “Bat Boy the Musical” and it is especially fantastic and hilarious. Just thought you should know as you’re such a fan of the bat child.

  49. Steven says:

    Freaking Amazing! It was so good to finally get Wil on the podcast. As a kid who grew up in a bowling alley (not bowling center) , watched TNG 5 days a week and used a video toaster in high school to edit the school TV network this podcast was like a melding of impossible awesomeness the likes of VADER PUSSY!!!! Keep up the great work, you guys are an inspiration to all of us creative nerd/dorks everywhere! That was a good burrito sir!!!!