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Episode 59: Nerdist Podcast
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Nerdist Podcast #59: ZACH GALIFIANAKIS

Zach Galifianakis joined us in front of hundreds of nerds at SF Sketchfest ’11! Zach admitted that he chews tobacco, Matt admitted that he wants a pet tapeworm, Jonah admitted the he once scammed a bartender in his darker days, and Chris (okay, me) admitted that he (I) still hasn’t (haven’t) seen “The Hangover”. I know! I know! I’ll get to it!!!!

Many thanks to our sponsor for this episode, Falcon Northwest Computer Systems!


  1. megz says:

    How can I download this podcast to send to my friend who has an Android phone device? Love Nerdist!

  2. Josh from Europe says:

    awesome. Zach is hilarious

  3. cymb says:

    I wish I had a tapeworm…

  4. Wendy says:

    Love you guys…remind me again why Zach was there? Unfortunately, he added almost nothing to the conversation you guys had going. Love the host-full podcasts.

  5. Noah says:

    I was listening on the way to work and was laughing so hard I was crying, twice. Keep it up. This episode made my day.

  6. dsandwhich says:

    You three were on fire on this ‘cast, even before Zach came out! If you three are worried about the guest-less podcasts, fear not! The banter is thick and fluid, like your moms.

  7. Julia says:

    One of the best ever! Love Zach Galifianakis. Good job guys!

    Anyone reading this who hasn’t watched Bored to Death – you must!

  8. paul says:

    Aww, thanks, guys! I’m so glad you liked him! Chris, when I read your comment I heard “phenomenal” in my head just the way you say it on the podcast. I’m really looking forward to the @wilw podcast and more stories about imaginary parasitic friends.

  9. Scott says:

    That was awesome. I loved it. There were a couple of times I thought you guys were going to screw it up by letting the guest talk alot. Thankfully when he did talk , you guys were smart enough to cut him off and turn it around to be about you guys again.

  10. Matthew Mira says:

    Wow, That is phenomenal, Paul. I want to be its friend, and talk about how it (the tapeworm of course) kind of sums up my life. I just “Fix” then i want to ride on a roller coaster.

  11. Chris Hardwick says:

    Paul, that is such a phenomenal drawing that I just emailed it to Matt & Jonah. Well done! Sharpie on Paper FTW!

  12. paul says:

    I really loved this show and would just like to add my vote for (a) continued host-full podcasts, because Nerdist twice a week = yay! and (b) stand-up comedy jokes from Mr. Mira in the new future. Matt, after listening tonight, I sketched up a new friend for you. I hope you have fun times together! (Please excuse the quality, I’m on Vicodin right now. Also, I suck at drawing.)

  13. Jason says:

    You’re really being unfair in assuming that the pussy-snaking isn’t consensual…

  14. Blaire says:

    RIGHT ON, ZACH! I have also been expressing (and reaching far less people) that making fun of mentally challenged people is cruel and hurtful to a very sensitive population that isn’t in on the joke and often require other fellow humans to fight for them. I understand that the word ‘retarded’ has entered pop-culture linguistics in a big way, and even that the word itself is not directly referring to “retarded people”, but as soon as I hear any comedian refer to a person as “a retard” or blantently make fun of someone who has no control over how their development malfunctioned in utero, I am not willing to support them or hear their comedy anymore.
    Also, props to Kyle Kinane for his reference to mentally challeged people on his CD ‘Death of the Party’ as “beauty and love in the world” while still giggling at their innocence like one would with children.

  15. MR_FJG_SON says:

    Hey Chris, I was in the back right under the lady yelling Thailand from the balcony. Apparently She thought Zach was giving the “politically correct” answers about Thailand for some reason and that he couldn’t really talk about what was going on there b/c he apparently had a gag order which was handed down to him from the movie studio with regards to the politics of the region. Needless to say she was watching an entirely different show in her head but that is what I gleamed from her going crazy about Thailand. Then people started getting fed up and started telling her to be quite.

    Other than that, it was a great show and just a great time. Ohhh and great job handling the guy who asked the question about starting a podcast considering he was going to only do it based solely off of your suggestion. Telling him to do it on tape worms would have been on awesome but you were great about just telling him to go out and do it.

  16. Dan says:

    New intro suggestion: Shot through the heart, and I’m to blame!

  17. Sari says:

    Chris: thank you so much for replying.

    FYI: I am your #1 Iraqi fan — I was born and raised in Baghdad until I was 21 and transferred to Georgetown in 2007. The Nerdist podcast episode #1 was the first podcast I ever downloaded on my iPod touch. You guys are awesome.

  18. Christov Smeeden says:

    Another great laugh! Mr. Hardwick, you should watch Mr. Galifianakis’ (Gala-fine-ass-kiss) movie “The Hangover”, it is pure vader pussy.

    ps.. love the guestless shows, keep up the funny muffins!

  19. Jesus C. says:

    Let’s get retahded. Ayy!

  20. Adam Beasley says:

    Chris, keep it up. Listening to you guys riff gets me through my day. I’ve listened to the comedians you should know cast more times than I have fingers and I excitedly await each new post with the glee of a 6 year old who wants pokemon gold for Christmas, then gets it.

  21. Chris Hardwick says:

    Sari: Yeah, I had to cut out all of the audience questions. Some people weren’t mic-ed very well and other stuff was just too visual so it didn’t translate. Additionally, a woman from the balcony kept shouting “Thailand” for some reason. The audio sort of picked it up, but it was just distracting in the headphones. I think the audience portion of the show was just one of those “Ya had ta be there” types of things.

  22. Todd says:

    Awesome podcast.

    But is anyone else tiring of the Zack G. I-don’t-give-a-shit hipster attitude? I mean he’s hilarious, and I’m a fan, but he certainly seems to be working A LOT for someone who apparently doesn’t care.

  23. Sari says:

    Matt should do stand up. Chris, you’re awesome and should stop worrying about those comments — you’re a great interviewer and a good listener too.
    The podcast was hilarious – but I felt like it was butchered at the end, at least in two spots. Also, on the guestless podcast (also awesome) you said something about Zach bringing some girl on stage, etc, and I guess you cut that out, right?

  24. Abbey says:

    The way I see it is this isn’t a “Chris Hardwick interviews guest” type of show, and it was never promoted as that so I don’t expect that. I expect a casual (incredibly funny) conversation between Chris, Matt, Jonah, and usually a guest.

    So you inject yourself all you want Mr. Hardwick!

  25. Destiny says:

    Chris, I LOVE when you inject yourself into interviews. It’s your flair. It’s not like you talk over your interview subjects. There’s a nice balance. Plus, you guys are hilarious and you can do what you want.

  26. Kevin says:

    It’s okay, Chris. I still haven’t seen it, either. What with there being 50 bazillion times more media product available, can you blame me? It’s on my Netflix and that should be good enough, dammit. Never mind that the last DVDs we had at our house were here for almost six months. Just get off my back, okay?

  27. Paulbot says:

    Good stuff, especially about not fitting on roller coaster rides. Never fear, they’ve added test seats to avoid this walk of shame, now you just have to attempt to cram yourself into the seat in front of a few onlookers.

  28. William says:

    Funniest damn podcast I’ve ever heard. Glad my boss was out today because I couldn’t stop laughing. Keep up the great work.

  29. Eric C says:

    I did the same thing on the slow carb diet. Didn’t eat enough, got sick, decided to start baking loaves of rye bread.

  30. Unoffensive says:

    1.wrap/tie yarn beard around waist
    2.flop dick through mouth hole
    3.dickbeard high fives all around!

    The ladies will be all like “My my if that ain’t the manliest dick I ever did see!…Excuse me, sir, you are a go for insertion.” in southern drawl of course.

  31. Eddie says:

    Zach looks a little like a beefed up Christian Bale in this pic…

  32. Lee Benningfield says:

    I love that two of my favorite podcasts have guys that grew up in Mass. (the other is the Geekbox).

    I also loved Zach’s story about antagonizing the people at Tru Calling (fun fact: Eliza Dushku is also from Mass.)

  33. Crystal says:

    Chris….That was an absolutely hilarious podcast. I laughed all the way through it. And, I may have chortled when you were talking about Bjork. May I respectfully suggest that you record a podcast closer to home? You said you were from Tennessee, right? Memphis Flying Saucer for a venue? (Beer & Nerdist; how can you go wrong?!) I’m from Little Rock, so anywhere remotely close to here would be kickass. Aaaaand, I would totally bring all my nerdy friends to come and support you! 😀

    p.s. I’m stealing “Cockbjorking”. kthx 😉

  34. Wesley Marshall says:

    Matt needs to do stand-up. He’d be so good. Chris, when you do the Wil Wheaton at the smodcastle you should have Matt do stand-up for an audience who came to you see all. He’d kill. He was so funny in this episode and it the guestless one. #MattMiraNeedsToDoStandUp

  35. Joseph Magnuson says:

    I agree with Ben…I’m from Western Mass and have no accent…but still say wicked, mint, etc…

    Torn between hoping you cut out the wannabe comedienne who “asked a question about her racist friend” aka did a mediocre comedy bit with no discernible punchline. Booooo her…

    I had a great time. Loved it!

    P.S. – The Hangover was not funny. I chuckled maybe three times total. Shocker because I love all involved and thought the performances were fine…but the film was just not funny.

  36. ben says:

    Shout out to Riverside Park! Though people in western Massachusetts don’t sound like Boston people.

  37. ♥ Love the yarn beards! You guys were as funny as always… BTW: I use Bag Balm for my tattoos (O_o) & How about a Gummy Tapeworm – YUMMY!

  38. Magnoliafan says:

    Jonah reminds me of Murray Hewitt in that picture.

  39. Where can I get those beards? … to clarify, I know how to get Zack’s beard, the other beards though… where can I buy them?

  40. Bobby Kotick says:

    It felt like I “Was” walking around wearing a falcon hood – But then I listened to this.

  41. Bobby Kotick says:

    It felt like I walking around wearing a falcon hood – But then I listened to this.

  42. Wesley Marshall says:

    Going to sleep, but not before I listen to Nerdist Ep. 59. This will make me laugh so hard that I shall fall asleep out of shear joy!