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Phirm’s Baby


My best friend Mike Phirman has co-produced the above-referenced human, Milo. While taking a picture with tiny Milo, Mike said, “Pretend you’ve gone back in time and you’re trying to convince me to join Hard ‘n Phirm.” For some reason I went with an argumentative approach. In my opinion, the bit still works because as Phirm says about the infant, “He’s the perfect straight-man.”

Surely you nerds can come up with a more suitable caption about whatever you think is going on here, so drop it in the “Comments” section! First prize will be selected by Mr. Phirman himself and will be awarded a $50 gift card to the 2-dimensional jukebox known as “iTunes.” Deadline for entries is Monday night at midnight PT. Remember, though, this is Mike’s favorite baby in the whole world so anything too offensive will be plucked out like a greasy nose hair.

Caption away!

Image: Mike Phirman

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  1. Chris Plain says:

    Seriously kid, the president is Black.

  2. Chris Plain says:

    Milo” This James Roday smells funny dad!”

  3. Chris Plain says:

    No No No! Jenny McCarthy first, THEN Carmen Elektra! God, what are you like one?

  4. Michael Hall says:

    Look, I don’t care what your mom says, you are a pre-existing condition and under the terms of her health plan, “Birth” is not covered. So fork over the money now or I’m gonna have to repossess you.

  5. Rachel Squires says:

    I apologize for bellowing, but it’s amazing to think that when Milo is my age he’ll be able to watch cyborgs fart on cakes!

  6. Meg says:

    Woops! Almost forgot to enter…

    Two choices:
    a) “He just crapped in my hand, man! MY HAND!”
    b) “You never told me it did THAT!”

    Congrats to Mr. Phirman on his adorable bundle of love, and for you, Nerdist, on being the favorite godfather of sorts? Teach him all you know. And I guess we’ll see how he turns out! 😉

  7. Wednesday Burns-White says:

    It just won’t fit back inside!

  8. Josh Leyanna says:

    He can’t possibly be hungry!!! My moobs are dry!!!!

  9. Pisculli says:

    Noone puts baby Milo in the corner! It’s bad for the feng shui. Put him over there away from the lamps.

  10. Randy Stillwell says:

    This is officially the worst White Elephant Gift Exchange I’ve ever attended!

  11. Cassie says:

    Milo could not believe it! Ratboy a better sidekick than Captain Huggy Face?! Is he nuts?!

  12. Erin says:

    “I’m not saying I won’t give him mine, I just think it’d be better to find a donor hand that’s a closer fit to his current body size.”

  13. Cassie says:

    Milo would never mention ‘cow with udders’ again.

  14. Cassie says:

    He loved him dearly, but Milo felt Chris’ thoughts on theoretical physics were entirely too derivative.

  15. Ramon says:

    “Im telling you his a spy!!!”

  16. Ramon says:

    Milo: “Crap I have this itch on my leg, but I can’t reach. If only he could stop talking about his show, then he could probably scratch it for me.”

  17. Pisculli says:

    I’m telling you he won’t break! I even chopped his friggin hand off; and he hasn’t told us anything!

  18. Ramon says:

    “You expect me to play with this(baby)?!”

  19. Ramon says:

    Milo: “Man, how can a baby get some sleep here if you keep yelling.”

  20. Donovan Taters says:

    I can’t believe your first words were “The Web Soup audience is fake, right?”!

  21. Yes Mr. Bond I am now in control of all ze comics in ze worlt. If you do not do as I say I will continue to let zis man speak.

    Ze Baby

  22. Chuck says:

    Making babies is gross, man.

  23. Delbuds says: