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NASA Needs a Protector of Earth! And the Job Pays Six Figures

NASA Needs a Protector of Earth! And the Job Pays Six Figures

Do you dream of bravely standing at the front lines for humanity when the aliens come for us, as they surely will? Do you have what it takes to protect the universe against the follies of mankind as we travel the cosmos? Do you want a full-time government job that pays in the high six figures?

Cause if the answer to all those questions is yes, NASA is looking for you. And the position includes dental.

We learned about this very real job opening, which sounds like our greatest sci-fi fantasies come to life, at Yahoo. America’s space agency is trying to fill its position of Planetary Protection Officer, a job first created in 1967 following the U.S.’s ratification of Outer Space Treaty, but not always filled with a single full-time employee.

But now they are looking for someone to join the Office of Safety and Mission Assurance for Planetary Protection, whose responsibilities will include “the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration,” a.k.a. making sure we don’t send accidentally send a bunch of destructive Earth germs to other planets via our spacecraft.

While that task is a serious matter and requires traveling around the world to check spacecraft before they blast off (it would not be ideal to explore a distant celestial body only to totally destroy it because Frank sneezed on the robot), it’s the other half of the job that has us (once again) practicing Bill Pullman’s speech from Independence Day.

That’s because the position is also tasked with making sure Earth isn’t contaminated by alien microbes. Yeah, part of the job is literally protecting the planet from aliens.

And it pays as much as $187,000 a year. That ain’t Tony Stark money, but it is far more than what Captain America makes.

The appointment is for three years. No word yet on if current PLANETARY PROTECTION OFFICER (we now realize that title should be in all caps) Catharine Conley, hired in 2014, will stay on, but we hope she does.

As far as we can tell no alien germs or invaders have overrun our home planet while she’s been on the watch, nor have we destroyed the universe yet.

And really, what more could we ask of someone tasked with protecting the planet. Other than maybe the occasional July 4th speech.

Are you going to apply for the job? If not who do you think should have it? Fly into our comments below and let us know.

Images: 20th Century Fox; Marvel

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