Welcome back, gang, we are into the full swing of @midnight again, and this week offered us what we all need at the middle of the night: laughs, internet, off-color comments, and Hardwick. Let’s stop wasting time and jump into what you may have missed this past week.
The battle of the Js kicked off as Chris and the comedians hypothesized how The Incredible Hulk would distance himself from Hulk Hogan after the wrestler was outed for racist comments. Of course, turning him into Donald Trump doesn’t help. Rapid Refresh got at Boston good by describing Boston’s opening ceremony for their failed Olympics bid, as well as guessing what a Reno newsman believes is Amazon’s secret to success over Wal-Mart. Hint: It’s selling sex toys. The comedians then had 60 seconds to battle over #RuinAWestern in the #HashtagWars, and each had to answer questions based on disturbing international music videos. The live challenge had our comedians doing play-by-play commentary for a baseball player nicknamed “Cum,” and in honor of Danny Glover’s belated birthday, Chris has the comedians come up with versions of “I’m getting too ___ for this ____.” It really is the highlight of the game, so check it out below. While no one curses, it could get a little dicey for work, so best to assume it is NSFW. Finally, For The Win puts the pressure on the comedians to come up with part of the Detroit Mayor’s speech for the unveiling of a Satanic statue in the city.
Chris decided to start off Tuesday by asking the comedians to come up with parade chants for a Seattle-man who held a one-man Straight Pride parade this week. Rapid Refresh touched on the record-breaking semi-truck jump that went viral, as the comedians gave their best Dukes Of Hazzard narration about it. Next, in #HashtagWars the trio gave as many examples of #DirtyPolitics wordplay as they could in sixty seconds, and Wedding Hells had Chris task the comedians with creating pieces of a couples’ vows from awkward wedding photos. The live challenge saw the comedians, including a shirtless Nick Thune, create their own sleazy lawyer commercials, thanks to Donald Trump’s terrible lawyer. Yes, this did devolve into Whitney Cummings describing her vagina. You know what, just watch below. The comedians were then challenged to give search engine terms that would lead to strange photos Chris shows them. Finally, For The Win saw the contestants clarify what a couple spelling their initials (AN and AL) in rice could really mean.
Second half of the week, and we celebrate the release of Windows 10 (and their balls to charge for solitaire) by asking this dude-panel to come up with other things Microsoft could gouge people for. Rapid Refresh looked at the story of Floridian divers discovering gold, which the comedians than cursed in than best Pirate Captain impressions, before coming up with their own vibrator-inspired songs. #HashtagWars celebrated J.K. Rowling’s birthday by having the comedians create #NewHarryPotterBooks. The gentlemen were then challenged to create scenarios based on item bought together on Amazon and I demand you watch it in the clip below. The guys gave career day speeches as a father who’s child describes them as “an employee and likes to drink,” and had sixty seconds to offer up less impressive Guinness World Records than “Oldest Living Panda In Captivity.” Finally, For The Win gave the challenge for the comedians to review a dish from a Salvador Dali cookbook.
For Tag Team Thursday, Chris welcomed the creative team for TBS and Funny Or Die’s America’s Next Weatherman series. Rapid Refresh took some interesting protests in Philly and asked the comedians to create a zillow description for “inside a man’s butt,” as well as give sarcastic compliments to a study on the benefits of sarcasm. The week’s last #HashtagWars opened up some old woulds with the topic #GotDumpedBecause, and yes it gets awkward. As a play on their show, America’s Next Weatherman, Chris has the comedians go under the gun with trying to give a weather forecast in which the green screen could change into anything. Trust me, easier to watch it then for me to explain. Take a gander below. The Live Challenge asked the panel to come up with their own generic Birthday song, and Bad Jeopardy Answers offers them a chance to make their own answers in the form of a question based on pop culture clues. For The Win ended the week saw the panel come up with inappropriate slogans for kid clothing.
That’s all this week, gang. Be sure to check out full episodes of @midnight on Comedy Central’s website (linked above) and join in on the #HashtagWars by tweeting to @midnight. See you next week!