Hey all, welcome back to another round of reliving the glory of this past week on @midnight.
Monday funday, y’all, and Chris is surrounded by the ladies for the start of the week. D23 gave us good news about a Star Wars theme park coming from Disney, and Chris could not be any more shamelessly erect about it. He also wanted the three panelists to chime in on what they thought about it…the theme park that is, as well as pitch their own ideas for unusual movie-based theme parks. Rapid Refresh had a few stories to talk about and make jokes out of. Chris wanted to know what little known reasons there were for Apex, North Carolina, to be considered the best place to live, what a man could be writing that would prompt a parrot to steal his pencil, and all three-took a turn in the shoes of an non-union writer for Buzzfeed and what their articles might look like.
Chris then decided to show his appreciation for not having any connection to the Teen Choice Awards whatsoever and the night’s topic for #HashtagWars was #RealTeenAwards. Some amazing answers came out of this one, such as “Driest Hump” and “Most Likely To Get Finger Blasted At Warped Tour.” The game Dunce Like No One Is Watching gave the contestants the chance to name their own dance crazes based on video clips Chris plays. This is the game of the night to check out, so watch the clip below, and get ready for Chris’s best accents! The Live Challenge for the night asked the comedians to give a goat’s reaction to the man who decided to go and live among them as a goat, and Chris asked them to give ridiculous names for all-female comedy club events in “Ladies’ Night!” FTW rounded up the night, by asking for poems to be read at Chris’s funeral, in honor of a European man who does the same for people with no family to mourn them. With that, another Monday is in the books.
Did you guys know apparently Donald Trump slept with a Penthouse Pet back in the ’90s? Yeah, you’re welcome for that mental image. Chris decided to ask the comedians to kick off Tuesday by offering up Donald Trump’s version of dirty talk. From one cartoon character to another, Rapid Refresh looked at some of Vladimir Putin’s recent treasure hunting exploits and asked the contestants what Bond film would he be the villain of, before contemplating how someone explains having Batarangs on them when going through TSA. The #HashtagWars got ready for back to school with #CollegeIn3Words. Chris and the gang finally uncovered the evil thoughts of cute animals while playing Devilishly Cute, and also guessed how weathermen around the internet flubbed their forecast. Grab some nice tennys and check it out in the clip below. Tuesday’s live challenge asked our trio of comedians to berate Wes Anderson New York style for riding around on a bicycle, and were then given 60 seconds to come up with as many ways bargain-basement economy flights would also belittle their customers. FTW wrapped up by looking for a Papal decree from the Pope Robot that will tour around Philly before The Pope himself does so. Let’s hope he fairs better than Hitchbot.
In an episode that can only be described as “Hardwick and Friends” Chris invites three of his good friends and comedians for a night that held plenty of laughs and reminded us that jokes about terrible situations are ok to laugh at. If you watch one episode from this week let it be this one, then watch all of them because they are free online. The episode starts off on all cylinders with our three players giving fake email addresses Ashley Madison subscribers should have used instead of .gov or .mil ones. Chris used Rapid Refresh to assure everyone that making fun of Jared and Subway was more to process the terrible things he did and not to make light of them, which then lead to thinking of new slogans for Subway since “Eat Fresh” seemed a little too off limits now. #HashtagWars offered a nice little palette cleanser with #ScientificSongs, and it’s nerdy word play. We then dove right back into the uncomfortable by giving taglines to odd board games, and the Live Challenge asked them to write what Jesus would say to divorce this woman. Check it out in the clip below, you will not regret it. (Note: I can not guarantee that you won’t regret it.) The gang wished Fred Durst a happy birthday by guessing what might be found on his Amazon wish list, including things like Dignity and an “At least I’m not Robert Durst” t-shirt. Finally, FTW revealed that scientists are finding ways to recycle bodily waste for space travelers to re-consume as food, and our contestants gave that a Yelp review.
Well gang, we have reached the last @midnight episode for two weeks, but before we all weep openly and question what we will do with ourselves, we have one more amazing episode to check in on. We celebrated the approval of the female libido pill, and our Comedy Central panel offered their unforeseen side effects that may come along with such a thing. Of course Natasha fears whether or not it will make her anti-semitic. Thursday means Rapid Refresh threw us back into The Pander Dome where Presidential Yelp reviews and Marco Rubio football flubs reigned supreme. The #HashtagWars wars played on fears of flying with #BadInFlightAnnouncements. They named squads from Squad Goal pictures, and created evil school principal announcements for The Live Challenge. Unfappable asked the trio to offer up porn searches that lead to innocent pictures on accident. (Check it out in the clip below.) Finally, Chris used FTW to ponder what kind of news headlines might come along during @midnight’s two week break.
That’s it for us here for the next two weeks guys. We’ll be back with play-by-play for two weeks when @midnight temporarily becomes @eleven.