For a while, it was up in the air who was going to get to play Young Han Solo in the upcoming Star Wars spin-off film, and while several names were attached to the role, it ultimately went to Hail Caesar‘s Alden Ehrenreich. Now, according to a totally real*** sketch on Conan, it turns out a bunch of famous and familiar Hollywood faces gave their best shot to get the role but ultimately came up empty-handed.
Conan O’Brien managed to get his hands on the audition tapes, and it’s actually pretty clear to see why Melissa McCarthy, Bill Hader, and others didn’t get the part. (Check it out in the video above.)
Hader’s approach was perhaps a bit too juvenile, as he played the role like a whiny teenager arguing with his mom. He did make a strong case to play a few other roles, though—like a skateboarding tauntaun, young Jabba The Hutt, and a prepubescent Chewbacca.
Melissa McCarthy may have gotten the part if she didn’t confuse parsecs with parsnips and insist on the change… or if she had seen more than “a good portion of one of [the Star Wars movies]” that featured a “small wizard boy… in the school”… or if she didn’t insist that Solo used a “lightsaver.” Alright, so there are plenty of solid reasons why she didn’t get the part, but that doesn’t make her audition any less entertaining.
Meanwhile, Adam Sandler basically did Jimmy Fallon’s Adam Sandler impression for his audition, while Jeff Goldblum turned on his signature rambling charm to absolutely nail his attempt, which was somehow both halfhearted and perfect. Check out the other auditions above, which also include readings from 50 Cent, Thomas Middleditch, and “Jodie Fucking Foster.”
What totally real*** lost Star Wars audition tape would you like to see? Let us know in the comments.
Featured image: Team Coco
***: by real we mean fake. Obviously very, very fake.