I haven’t been a “professional” writer for very long but I’m pretty sure that today, when I received this assignment, I heard the voice of a thousand angels whisper a single word: “Pulitzer.”
Of course, I was mistaken and may have actually blacked out for a moment on account of the conflicting simultaneous feelings of both hunger and disgust. Those two feelings don’t normally coincide, but the restaurateurs behind Zombie Burger certainly made it possible with their latest creation.
Horrifyingly delicious or deliciously horrifying?
That appetizing culinary atrocity is called the “Martin’s Revenge” burger at the Des Moines, Iowa eatery Zombie Burger. The name is a nod to the horror series (there were two, can we call it a series?) Human Centipede. Oh, and there’s a third movie in the series and it comes out this week. Sometimes, I really hate when I Google things. For readers unfamiliar with the movies, they are essentially about madmen who surgically fuse people together making, you guessed it, human centipedes.
Named after the second film’s antagonist Martin Lomax, the burger is described as “a three-piece slider bun, with a different burger in each segment. The first burger is steak with cheddar, bacon and red raw onion. The second is a burger patty with American cheese, pulled barbecue bacon and sauteed red onion. The third burger is a loose meat sandwich with house-made cheese whiz and bacon-red onion jam.” Hungry yet? I was only a bit peckish before, but now after the descriptor “loose meat sandwich” there’s no stopping me from getting to Iowa!
I suppose we have to give credit where credit is due, and a zombie-themed restaurant putting that much thought into a dish is impressive. The first burger is “digested” bit by bit in each segment. You know, just like the movie! Uneasy feelings aside about a meal with a nod to the only horror movies that I sincerely felt uneasy watching, the burger still looks great.
Would you eat “Martin’s Revenge”? What would your horror-themed burger be? Let us know in the comments below.