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Medal of Honor: A Non Review

I wish I could say I was writing this review of the new Medal of Honor having had first hand game experience but well…let me tell you what happened.

THE GODDAMN THING WAS DELIVERED WHILE I WAS AT IKEA AND MY HUSBAND GOT TO IT FIRST.

So I have spent an entire evening watching Glee while putting together an effing sudoku of an armoire and occasionally wandering into the kitchen for a fresh Diet Coke only to see an inordinately happy young bearded gentleman shooting at taliban-esque peoples and yelling “PWNED” the way it is spelled (PWAWNEEED). Grrrrr.

In light of this really annoying and possibly divorce-producing situation, my review of the new Medal of Honor can only be this: If you are a youngish person with a full face of hair and a penchant for Call of Duty like gaming, then you will enjoy the new edition to the MOH franchise. If, however, you are a person with little to no chance of playing this game in the foreseeable future (or until your bearded counterpart/video game poacher is smothered with a pillow) then this game will make you feel very, very bitter about oh…everything.

Comments

  1. eoin says:

    Owwwwwww. I hurt myself laughing! Thank you for sharing. You might try cleavage, it works for my wife.

  2. Kiala Kazebee says:

    Joe is back! My favorite critic! Hi Joe!

    *waves*

  3. joe says:

    why did you write this? are you even pretending to do this anymore?

  4. Rob Shift says:

    Mr. Badhatharry,

    You have stolen the ideas and works of Mr. Shift. Please cease and desist immediately. N00b.

    Sincerely,

    Rob

  5. nutbastard says:

    @badhatharry

    don’t worry, I can vouch for your nonnoobness, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

    :P

  6. badhatharry says:

    OK, Rob Shift said the same thing as me. Like 20 hours before I did. I swear, I’m not new to commenting.

  7. badhatharry says:

    Your house has the big master breaker, right? Become friends with that.

  8. Rob Shift says:

    You need to distract him so that you can steal the controller.

    Flip the breaker switch and grab the controller when he goes down to the box. Done, and done.

    Or, do what my wife does: Make cookies. Inevitably, by the time I figure it out, I’ve already been swindled.

  9. nutbastard says:

    I’d just go on the computer and DoS bomb my own ip address until the lag became unbearable.

  10. mepsipax says:

    You could always wreck the wireless….then play while he is fixing it. Bwahahahaha.

  11. Deltus says:

    You didn’t rectify the situation immediately? Your bad. Step 1: find blunt object. Step 2: use blunt object. Step 3: enjoy game for yourself.

  12. sir jorge says:

    wow, a non-review, not needing a post? i’ll take whatever i can get i guess