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The Internet is Losing Its Mind Over Mario’s Nipples

Next month, Nintendo gamers will finally get their hands on Super Mario Odyssey, which will officially bring the long-running game series to the Switch. We’ve already been impressed by Super Mario Odyssey‘s gameplay innovations and its absolutely bonkers ability to let Mario possess anyone with his magic hat. But now, there’s something about the game that’s causing fans to freak-the-Koopa out. That’s why today’s Nerdist News is all about Mario’s nipples. This is true, and not a joke!

Join host and the new mayor of New Donk City, Jessica Chobot, as she runs down the craziest reactions to Mario’s “chest goombas.” You’d think that the internet never saw a shirtless video game character before! Or perhaps some people just aren’t used to seeing nipples without downloading a user created skin. Mario’s strangely flat and weirdly large nipples are clearly so salacious that we’re gonna have to hide them from kids and U.S. Senators!

People are really taken aback by Mario’s nipples, but that means that they haven’t even asked the real question: how is Mario so hairless? Obviously, we’ve seen some manscaping before, but this is ridiculous! Given the state of Mario’s epic mustache, we always thought that it would take much more than a mere razor blade to cut through the forest of Mario’s body hair. That could even be its own Mario video game, if this whole Switch thing doesn’t work out.

What do you think about about Mario’s nipples? Let’s discuss in the comment section below!

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