Note: The above video could be considered graphic and may cause extreme discomfort.
“So… Youtube user Woundedisease, what’d you get up to this weekend?”
“Oh nothin’. Played some Xbox, went to the beach, had my eyeballs tattooed so they look like two pitch-black portals into the depths of Hell.”
“I thought something looked different about you. Are timecards due today?”
No, what you’re looking (and/or gasping, crying, laughing, or cringing) at in the above video entitled “Behemoth Eyeball” is not a joke. This man really did have his eyeballs tattooed. And no, we’re not sure why, although perhaps he crossed his heart, hoped to die, and then… well… you know the rest. And while it’s easy to make fun of this man, with his Amityville oculars, who are we to judge?
Tattoos are big in nerd culture, after all. We can celebrate our favorite cartoons by getting a full back piece of The Simpsons, like this man did. Or ink a cute little android addition to the side of our torsos like this woman. Much of the starring cast from The Lord of the Rings famously had the word “nine” tattooed in elvish on their bodies to commemorate their participation in the epic trilogy. Will Smith even took to branding his fellow Suicide Squad actors himself. So there is plenty of precedent for tattoos symbolizing a deep bond to something outside of ourselves, whether it be beloved media or an ideal or friendship or whatever Woundedisease was going for when he did this to his face:
So “never send to know for whom the bell tolls, [because] it tolls for thee.” And if that famous John Donne quote seems totally out of context here, well, we’re looking at a man who just tattooed his eyeballs, so not much is going to make sense right now.
What do you think about Woundedisease and his now punctured pupils? Is he going to regret this decision, or star in his own TLC reality show? Let us know in the comments section below!