You’ve been naughty!–Bayonetta
Let’s not beat around the proverbial Christmas tree, Die Hard is without a doubt the best Christmas/holiday film ever made. Whether you’re looking for non-stop action to keep the family entertained, or merely something that personifies the holiday spirit, Die Hard has it all. But, you already knew that.
Now, I’m here to reveal the video game equivalent to this classic action film–Bayonetta 2. Strange comparison, I know, but hear me out. I’m not saying that these two entertaining gems of media are the same, instead I am saying that Bayonetta 2 is the best game to play on Christmas, in the same way that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie to watch come December 25.
Without further ado, here is why Bayonetta 2 is the best Christmas game.
“Yippie ki-yay, motherf***er!”– John McClane
The Christmas backdrop.
First the obvious and most important point for this argument– like in Die Hard (occurs on Christmas eve), Bayonetta 2 is set during the holiday season. The over-the-top witch, Bayonetta, is holiday shopping when someone comes a’knocking at the door. No, it’s not those pesky carolers that spread too much joy, but instead it’s a speeding jet overhead, brimming with angels asking for trouble. Oh yeah, then one of the many rad characters from the game, Rodin (pictured above) crashes the party in his convertible, in of course, Santa garbs.
See, these two have Christmas as the backdrop, and always subtly remind us that it’s a jolly time, but neither make the festivities the focal point. Thus, neither are trapped following the same holiday tropes. What we get instead is a barrage of set-pieces bright enough to light up even the largest pine trees. Plus, they are both bonkers.
At the end of Bayonetta 2, we are back doing our X-Mas shopping.
The jolly fella would be proud.
John McClane vs. Bayonetta.
Can we agree that both John McClane and Bayonetta are both nuts in the best possible way? One rides a tidal-wave while fighting some random giant sea beast sent from the heavens (Bayonetta), while the other jumps off an exploding sky-scrapper with only a fire hose keeping him from impending death (John McClane).
I mean, these two are bad-ass epitomized.
Both have staggering odds stacked against them, yet they keep chugging along like it ain’t no thang. There’s something so lovable about these exaggerated protagonists. It’s hard not to adore them when they deliver classic one-liners. Bayonetta takes crap from no one, is incredibly confident in her abilities and physique, and kicks all sorts of ass. Why not spend the holidays with her?
They’re both perfect action stars.
An instant tradition.
Where else will you be duking it out with giant angel beasts while speaking in innuendos, and summoning massive demons?
Bayonetta 2 is only 10 hours long, which is actually a nice sweet spot for a video game to hit for those that are extremely busy, and who isn’t during family functions? You can complete the game in a few sittings/couple of days with ease, and you’ll be even quicker about it once you’ve played it a few times. I know backlogs are insane this time of year–I feel you, but this won’t take much time.
Best of all, you can change your costume, take on different difficulties, or even take on the co-op mode with a family member so that this adventure never goes stale like month- old eggnog.
One of my favorite traditions come the end of year celebrations every year is watching the aforementioned film. It’s a 2 hour long joy-ride that like mentioned above, has enough of the Santa Claus and whatnot to make it feel fitting. I can now do the same with this Wii U classic, and so can you.
This one has less to do with the actual game, but is a crucial point to make. If and when you are getting in the holiday spirit with this magnificent game, and your family throws coal into your fun by taking over the television, you can simply switch the action onto the gamepad screen and continue your merry good time. Disaster avoided.
There, I’ve pleaded my case. Hopefully this has at least made you consider turning Bayonetta 2 into a holiday tradition like I have. Even if you disagree with me, go play this game. Seriously, you monsters, go play this game! And yes, I know it’s ironic I’m advocating playing a game where you fight angels on Christmas.
But, where else are you going to watch your pet demon dragon get destroyed by another demon pet you summon? Exactly.
Do you guys agree with my sentiment? Let us know in the comments below.