I’m currently in the Grand Central Station Food Court blogging from my old iPhone which might as well be an allosaurus at this point because the sunrises in the multiple time zones bring with them a new little pocket buddy that we can look forward to taking for granted in less than a month: the 3-mutha-frackin-G iPhone.
That’s right! It’s 3G iPhone Day so get into the spirit! Decorate your computer with old circuit boards! Leave a bowl of cola-soaked tampons for Old Man iPhone! And don’t forget to fill your underwear with peanut butter while singing a Coldplay song! You know, our forefathers celebrated 3G iPhone Day by sacrificing an elderly virgin, but with todays technological advancements we can actually just go buy one.
So skip on down to an Apple Retail Store, crawl inside the belly of that silver whale and emerge with a shiny piece of happiness. If God had a wiener, surely it would be the new 3G iPhone, available today!!!