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How Superman Shaves? Ask Bill Nye, Kevin Smith, Mayim Bialik, and Mythbusters

manofsteellogo61413How does Superman shave? I mean… you know… there HAS to be an explanation of how he manages to get rid of the facial, um, stronger-than-hair. Kryptonite razor? Naw, that’s not right. Anyway, Gillette asked some famous foiks to come up with the answer in an entertaining ad campaign tied into Man of Steel, and Bill Nye the Science Guy is one of the theorists. And he came up with a theory. Not a blade, he says. Okay, fine, and you can vote for Bill’s explanation at the Gillette YouTube channel.

Or you can go with Kevin Smith’s theory:

I’m not even sure what he’s proposing, but it might be right. Then there’s Mythbusters Adam and Jamie and their idea:

I’d have thought they’d try that out on their OWN beards, but no. Not sure even they could arrange that.

Mayim Bialik, who, as you know, is a real-life neuroscientist as well as playing one on TV, comes up with her theory, which also explains why, in her estimation, Superman smells good:

Isn’t that, you know, Nair?

Anyway, you can vote at the Gillette YouTube channel, and I don’t know what that’ll mean — maybe they’ll write it into the sequel — but maybe you have your own theories, which you can post below. Personally, I’ll vote for whichever theory causes a case of Fusion ProGlide blades to magically appear at my doorstep. My vote can be bought.

Comments

  1. Jeremiah says:

    I think super man just flies really really close to the sun and just lets it eventually burn hair if of his face and he probably just flies “this” close to it

  2. Lisa says:

    I can’t get over the lameness of people “proving” he uses heat vision and a mirror. Everyone knows that there was a period of time when he did that. Post crisis, the animated shows, etc. That doesn’t mean every incarnation of Superman does it the same way.

    Pre-crisis, his hair (including facial hair) simply didn’t grow under a yellow sun, so it was a non-issue. I’m surprised Kevin Smith didn’t mention that.

  3. Jordan says:

    He uses his heat vision and a mirror.

    This proven in Superman: The Animated Series

  4. Louie says:

    How does a lotion penetrate impenetrable skin?

    Superman has no time to sit there and wait for the LHC to warm up.

    No material on earth can be used on Superman, sorry bill nye.

    The ship was meant to survive interstellar space travel, but its a machine, it didn’t gain “super powers” while under our yellow sun like the living being, Superman. I would guess he is now invulnerable to his spaceship as well now.

    I like the Red Sun Light bulb theories (he’s smart enough to come up with something like that.) or as in one of the DC Animation films he uses his heat vision as a laser (to bore a freakin hole in his head to get at a led covered ball of kryptonite), he’s got precise control and can see things microscopically … so why wouldn’t this be a possibility?

    AND why aren’t any of these a VIDEO REPLY to Conan O’Brien superman rant on the beard??

  5. Brian says:

    He uses a razor made of Kryptonian metal, which is indestructible under Earth’s yellow sun. The metal is salvaged from his Kryptonian rocket-ship. But the design is copied from a Mach 3 razor.
    If he wants to use an ordinary razor, he has to use a red-sun filter over the light fixture in his bathroom. Now we all know!

  6. Carlos David says:

    Gillete made him an exclusive razor with a 1% of kryptonite, and titanium, iron, blah blah…

  7. Adam says:

    Page 41 of the Graphic Novel Superman:Braniac appears to show Superman shaving by directing his heat vision into a mirror and back to his chin. He’s travelling in a space ship and listening to Krypton related info files and I believe shaving. Someone tell me I’m wrong.

  8. A.J. says:

    Bill Nye and Mayim Bialik were plausible. But the most likely solution is that Kal-El fashions a typical Kryptonian razor, stands in front of a light with a red-pass filter and shaves like any human.

  9. michaelalexkawa says:

    I think he does it like the rest of us ……Very Carefully .
    Really though I agree with Joshua and the whole Fortress of Solitude theory.

  10. Mikey says:

    Okay, couldn’t Kal just rub the hair off of his face? I think someone with his strength could do so.

  11. Joshua says:

    I’m kind of surprised no one suggested this before (in general, I haven’t checked the site.)

    Under a red sun Kryptonians are just like humans and have no special powers. If we recall the scene where Superman tricks Zod with the chamber in The Fortress of Solitude, all Kryptonians outside the chamber are rendered powerless (also the special effect lighting was red (happy coincidence ?)). So there was some kind of tech on hand to render his special powers permanently inert if we consider that canon.

    Perhaps Superman could have access to some type of Kryptonian technology that could simulate a red sun and shave while that is on? Not permanently stripping him of his power, of course.

  12. Joe Cohen says:

    Michael Levy is 100% correct. The canon way Clark shaves is to burn off the hair with his own heat vision.

  13. David says:

    Superman goes to the only being powerful enough on the planet earth, Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris wouldn’t stoop to actually cutting or shaving Superman’s hair. Instead he would kick Superman in the face and all the hair would fall off, to which Superman would thank Chick Norris and kneel before him.

  14. Michael Levy says:

    I remember a cartoon showing him bouncing his heat vision off a mirror to burn off his stubble

  15. agentofn0thing says:

    My theory is this: he has a light-fixture in his bathroom that simulates the light from the red sun of Krypton, which essentially reduces his attributes to those of a mere mortal, allowing him to shave in a normal fashion.

  16. Lisa Liei says:

    I’m a little bummed that Penn Gillette hasn’t weighed in on this. I mean, especially with the Gillette connection and all.

  17. Tom says:

    Not to let my geek out, but his hair does not grow in the yellow sun of Earth. Anyone making a movie about this should know that…

  18. @Dangalf says:

    But does Superman shave his Pubic hair?

  19. Phillip says:

    In the Will Smith movie Hancock, he just uses shaving gel and his fingernails to scratch the stubble off of his face. not very elegant but problem solved.

  20. While I’m a fan of the mythbusters, Kevin Smith, and of course I love me some Blossom, the only theory that I can rely comes from Bill “The Reason Your Child Plays With Fire” Nye. SCIENCE!!!

  21. Aaron says:

    He just flexes his face really hard and the skin pinches the hair off. Duh…

  22. Larry says:

    He could easily use his laser vision to cut parts of his spaceship into a pair of scissors and a razor blade.