With the red carpet world premiere of Game of Thrones happening this Sunday April 10, it’s no surprise more details about the series’ sixth season are unfolding. And of those details, approximately 100% of them are downright laughable and proof that HBO is trolling all of us, hard.
Naturally, if you want to remain as pure as the first Winter snow, turn away now, as there are spoilers ahead.
Dubbed “The Red Woman”—a clear nod to Melisandre, the woman at the Wall with the ability to bring people back to life thanks to her bud the Lord of Light—the season six premiere of Thrones’ synopsis does little to provide insight. “Jon Snow is dead. Daenerys meets a strong man. Cersei sees her daughter again.”
Now, there are a few things we know to be true about all three of these mini-statements: mostly that they’re completely and utterly misleading. Like “Next Week on Mad Men” misleading. Because we know Cersei’s daughter is dead, Jon Snow is probably coming back to life, and that strong man (no doubt a nod to Strong Belwas, even though we know it’s just Khal who found her and Drogon at the end of season five) will be no match for Dany and her dragons (though he could be a good ally as things fall apart in Meereen).
Perhaps our favorite bit of trolling, though, is what HBO omitted. For instance, not on their returning cast list? Kit Harington, a.k.a. Jon Snow, a.k.a. the dude they keep swearing left, right, up, down, and sideways will NOT return this season—even though he’s been, arguably, the central focus of almost all the promotional materials. And with a focus on Melisandre, who is currently at the Wall where Jon Snow’s dead body lies, it proves all the more that homeboy’s watch may be ended but he’s definitely going to come back. (imeanobviouslyduhandalsoCMON)
Also of note? This year, the usually top-billed Harington has been omitted, with the returning series regulars listed as Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister), Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister), Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister), Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen), Aidan Gillen (Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish), Diana Rigg (Lady Olenna Tyrell), Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark), Maisie Williams (Arya Stark) and Jonathan Pryce (the High Sparrow).
Elsewhere, the series lists out the series regulars and—guess what?—Snow ain’t nowhere to be found there, either. Nope, instead it’s just Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy), John Bradley (Samwell Tarly), Dean-Charles Chapman (Tommen), Gwendoline Christie (Brienne of Tarth), Liam Cunningham (Davos Seaworth), Natalie Dormer (Margaery Tyrell), Nathalie Emmanuel (Missandei), Jerome Flynn (Bronn), Iain Glen (Jorah Mormont), Isaac Hempstead-Wright (Bran Stark), Conleth Hill (Varys), Kristofer Hivju (Tormund Giantsbane), Michiel Huisman (Daario Naharis), Michael McElhatton (Roose Bolton), Hannah Murray (Gilly), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay Bolton), Carice van Houten (Melisandre), Indira Varma (Ellaria Sand), and Tom Wlaschiha (Jaqen H’ghar). The inclusion of the new cast members—Pilou Asbaek, Essie Davis, Souad Faress, James Faulkner, Richard E. Grant, Ian McShane, Joe Naufau, Freddie Stroma, and Max von Sydow—also don’t reveal much.
C’MON, HBO! We see what you’re doing here. WE SEE IT! Stop being such a trololo.
At least we know one thing: there’s gonna be a big ol’ battle for the North. Watch our Nerdist News about it to find out more!
What do you all think of the new details? Let us know in the comments below!
Image Credit: HBO
Alicia Lutes is the Managing Editor of Nerdist and resident Khaleesi of the Known Bullpen Realm. Find her on Twitter (@alicialutes).