close menu

HANDS ON REVIEW: Asus M70 Laptop


The Asus M70 is HD-riffic with its HDMI out, 17” full-HD display and Hollywood-friendly 1.5” body width. At 9 lbs, it’s a little heavy for a laptop but a perfect weight for a healthy baby. The glossy black and gray case make you feel like you’re computing in a dark, yet sterile future wonderworld. The real benefit of this laptop (designed for large laps) is its entertainment capabilities. With a 1920×1200 resolution, those cheeky bastards over at Asus have designed the machine to adjust the video settings according to which application you’re using, giving the perfect picture quality every time–and I have to say, that picture quality is, in a word, “f*ckable.” Add that to the meaty Altec Lansing speakers built in and you’ve got yourself a portable theater, Sir (or Madam).

The other chest-bump worthy feature is a freaking TERABYTE of storage. While I realize that Moore’s Law makes this predictable, it doesn’t make it any less welcome. As we migrate to digital libraries we need all the space we can cram our crap into. The one memory mistake that is worse than my ending the last sentence with a preposition is that the 32-bit Vista OS can only use 3 of the available 4 gigs of RAM, leaving one gig to lead a useless, masturbatory life of exiled solitude in your computer. And while I’m being all negative I should point out that the touch pad lights up and turns into a media control panel for the Blu-ray player, but its performance was Cheney at best–EVEN with repeated finger-mashings. This feature may look all MCP but needs some Flynn-style upgrades.

All in all, this is a decent laptop for the price, which is $2400 US. The storage alone justifies the expense. However, I really only recommend this to the entertainment computist (not a real word). Buy this if you’re a PC person who wants to watch a lot of HD movies in different parts of your house (its size and weight don’t make it entirely idea for repeated travel). The ATI Radeon HD 3650 video card is okay for gaming but I had more of a fluid experience (that sounds gross) with the Toshiba A-305–if gaming is your main computing goal, you have been duly notified.

Other features of note:
*Intel Core Duo 2 processors running up to 2.5 GHz
*1.3 megapixel camera that swivels, eliminating the need to tilt the computer to show off your “junk”
*S/PDIF out, card reader, Firewire, A/V out
*roomy keyboard for beefy forelimbs