Well, he doesn’t call himself the God of Tits and Wine for nothin’, now does he? Nor should he be considered anything less because dagnabbit that Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones sure does love to get wasted. Downright drunk as a skunk that one loves to be, doesn’t he? In fact we’d consider him a professional for the cause. And thanks to the hilariously clever folks over at Vulture, you can play along at home without pushing your blood-alcohol levels to previously unknown (and terribly perilous) new heights. It’s the Get Tyrion Drunk video game. Hip, hip, HICCUP!
The website’s old-school video game (a style of which we just cannot get enough), allows you to help keep the littlest Lannister well in his cups. But it’s not as easy as just throwin’ that sweet, fermented grape juice back: it just so happens (probably because of Cersei because who else would be so maniacal?) that he’s boozing it up in a room occupied by a bevy of raining swords. Woops.
How the game works is fairly simple: By using the arrow keys on your laptop (or your touch screen if you’re permanently attached to your phone), the task is to move our pimp the Imp into positions that will land him as many goblets as he can muster. Those are worth 100 points. There are also fancy golden chalices (that we kept missing, ugh) that are worth 1,000 points each — so you definitely want to nab a few of those. Just don’t get killed by falling swords.
In the end our best score was a relatively measly 1900 (and it only got worse from there. We are admittedly pretty terrible at games):
Think you can beat us? Let’s all share our scores (after you play the game) in the comments.