What was gross and disturbing in 1985 is after 30 years turned into… well… it’s still gross and disturbing, but with an added soupçon of depressing despair realizing our favorite deformed lil buddies are all grown up and still have the same maladies.
The Garbage Pail Kids were a phenomenon in the mid ’80s and captured the attention of kids everywhere at just the right time. The GPK cards were modeled after the super popular Cabbage Patch Dolls that pretty much every child of the ’80s had. The timing was perfect because, as we grew out of the cuteness of the Cabbage Patch Dolls, the Garbage Pail Kids swooped in and filled that vacuum with disgusting puns and gross-out humor. The trading cards were so popular that a feature length film was made in 1987 that, without exaggeration, was a absolute goddamned nightmare. I watched this as an adult and can assure you that the movie is one of the worst ever made and not in that “fun” way where we watch movies because they’re so bad. Despite the love I have for the cards to this day, the movie is just awful, horrifying, and, I assume, was only made after a movie executive’s fever dream had a fever dream of its own. [Editor’s Note: He’s not kidding; that movie should be used as a bio-weapon.] Here’s the trailer for reference, keep in mind that this was intended as a fun children’s movie.
I am sorry for that. It had to be done.
In a project by photographer Brandon Voges and art director Jake Houvenagle, they decided to re-imagine some of the Garbage Pail Kids in a “where are they now?” scenario, assuming they’ve aged with the rest of us. The results of which, as you can see in the gallery below, are flat-out disturbing. The iconic face of the card series, Adam Bomb, starts off the collection sitting in the exact same spot he was all those years ago. Having detonated in 1985, his life appears to be fairly boring after destroying everything around him. He was, however, able to find the same suit in an adult size, so I guess post-apocalyptic clothing stores still exist. The photo series continues with other fan favorites Clogged Duane, Armpit Britt, Bony Tony, Barfin’ Barbara, and Noah Body. Check out the making-of video of how each photo was created.
Now, all I have to do is see if there’s a way I can volunteer for the next photo set for the “Blake Flake” card.
What do you think of the updated Garbage Pail Kids? What was your favorite growing up? Are you as intrigued as I am about Noah Body’s rise to power? Let us know in the comments below.