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Found: The Best-Worst Music… And A Pig In A Top Hat

I am not much of a gamer.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional round of Mario Kart or a quality Guitar Hero battle, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. When I get sucked into a game you have to pry my clenching hands away from that controller. You could also probably lure me away with concert tickets or a cookie if the situation ever arises. That being said, when my friend Brian sent me this video over the holidays, I was partly confused but also amazed. It wasn’t just the concept that left me in fits of giggles, but the fact that a group of people spent serious time thinking this was a good idea. The music can also be described as the best-worst part of the experience.

The game is called Zoo Race. It’s a Christian video game about the racing of animals  after they were saved from death on Noah’s Ark. Naturally, the animal people then have a dance party to some awesomely horrible country-rock 8 bit music. Did I mention Jesus is there?

I don’t want to ruin the magic of watching it for the first time, but this is how Brian set up Zoo Race – Noah’s Adventures, the game movie:

“I don’t know what kind of mood you’re in, but I couldn’t stop laughing when some family friends showed this to me earlier. It’s the opening cinema scene from a REALLY cheap game called ‘Zoo Race’ for PC which is Christian or something. Also, they show a montage of the game-play. Make sure you watch the whole thing.”

(Take a good look at Ruben’s arm at 1:41)


  1. Alicia says:

    Oh, look at that evil woman, smug in her house of learning, worshiping the evil ideas of science and knowledge; she even has a shrine to the false prophet Einstein! God’s plan is to turn her into a barnyard creature, put her through ridiculous trials, and finally let her mount his big phallic missile up to heaven to learn about his truth? Video game indoctrination, get on with your bad self! (The atheist-feminist ire in this comment is mostly in jest, mostly….)

  2. joe says:

    horse in cannon. Nothing more needs said.

  3. Isaiah says:

    Hmm…I don’t remember dropping acid this evening, but I guess I did somewhere….WOW…

  4. Ryan says:

    @nobelox Not even that! I went to there awards page and my Virus protection said, “threat has been detected” NOW THAT is comedy gold. AND THE REVIEW! Paul always has great, accurate reviews am I right?

  5. Jiggles says:

    I couldn’t watch that whole thing, my brain started breaking.

  6. Cody k says:

    Those graphics would have been totally awesome….in 1990.

  7. mPony says:

    If you really can’t believe how bad the game is,
    try believing the source material.

  8. Hunter Boone says:



  9. Rally says:

    This… this is a joke, right? Never mind about the subject matter, someone actually produced a game this bad in the last decade and a half?

  10. Andrew Watson says:

    And what’s the Doom 3 wallpaper and the 100ft ceilings in the library??? And why are their shoes so slippery that they have to take 500 steps to walk across the floor?

  11. Bored_Ming says:

    This game must be a CIA LSD experiment. We need to get Jessie Ventura on the case. Demon arm Ruben morphs into a Rhino that seems to be wearing a yarmulke?! Horses being fired out of cannons and riding missiles? I can dig this type of Christianity. Is is this a dream? No, its a surrealist hell of your own making! Now go back to reading the dictionary.

  12. Noblelox says:

    BAWAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!! Yes the game is a bit funny in it’s crappyness, and the music is laughably bad, but I cracked when I had a look at the awards page. They are boasting about awards for being virus and malware free!!! Now that is comedy gold!