Miami Connection is the new cult obsession in the making – a recently unearthed 1987 martial-arts film starring a Florida Tae Kwon Do master who really had no business being onscreen, from a director with no apparent understanding of character, pacing or plot… but, we’ll admit, a pretty decent eye for cinematography. Throw in some long and pointless musical numbers that are gloriously terrible, even by ’80s standards, and frankly the average viewer might begin to suspect the whole thing’s a put-on. As far as we can tell, it isn’t – star Y.K. Kim may look like a middle-aged man playing a teen in the movie, but nowadays he looks like a much older man in remarkable health. He also doesn’t butcher the English language quite as gleefully as he used to.
When it comes to this sort of thing, bad is good, and Drafthouse Films knows it. Here’s a taste of how they’re promoting the movie:
And unlike, say, The Room, they’re ready with merchandise from the start. Here, now, exclusively, Figures & Speech is proud to premiere the appropriately 1987-styled Miami Connection action figures!
Unfortunately, these figures do not, as yet, exist. But they could if there were sufficient demand. Or if you got hold of some vintage G.I. Joes and kitbashed them.