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Drop a Halloween Haiku and Win Dark Horse’s JOE GOLEM AND THE DROWNING CITY!

There’ll be plenty of tricks coming your way this Halloween, but what about treats? Not everyone loves candy – shocking, I know – so we’re trying to give you something that will satisfy the sweet tooth of your mind: namely, Dark Horse’s super limited edition Joe Golem and the Drowning City hardcover collector’s case.

From the minds of Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden, this collection, which was limited to 1,000 copies, follows Molly McHugh, assistant to the recently abducted psychic Orlov the Conjuror, through the canals of the sunken city of Manhattan, racing against time to save him. Her only hope comes in the form of two decidedly strange men: Victorian Era detective Simon Church, kept alive by gears and magic, and his equally mysterious assistant Joe Golem. It’s a supernatural steampunk epic packed with monsters, malicious men, and more mystery than most mortals can handle.


Sounds pretty rad, right? Trust me, it is. Well, guess what? We’ve got 5, count ’em, 5 of these ultra limited edition collector’s case editions to take your Halloween from just frightening to frighteningly good. As it turns out, these copies are unsigned, which means that these are actually even rarer than the signed and numbered editions which were sold. See? Everybody wins!

By now, you’re probably asking yourself, “What do I have to do to win?” It’s simple: in the comments below, post your spookiest Halloween haiku, and on Friday, we’ll select our 5 favorites to receive a copy!

Haven’t done a haiku in a while? Don’t worry. I’ve got an example for you right here.

Do you like prizes?

Well, I certainly hope so.

Because we’ve got ’em.

See? Easy as pumpkin pie. Remember – 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. Be quick about it, though! You only have until 11:59:59 PM on Thursday, October 31st to get your submissions in, because on Friday, we’re moving on to full on Thanksgiving mode, and ain’t nobody gonna have time for your spooky ass. Oh, and it will probably behoove you to attach an e-mail address when posting your comment (not in the body of the comment, though) to make it easier to get in touch with you. Now, get writing, guys, because I’m in the mood for some seriously horror-laden haiku.

But, while you’re waiting to find out the results of the contest, why not pick up the first issue of Baltimore by Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden? In honor of the third hardcover collection, Dark Horse is selling issue #1 for the bargain basement price of just $1. That’s right – one George Washington is all it takes to get your hot little hands on the chilling tale of a soldier trying to destroy a coven of vampires in World War I-era Europe. Enough jibber-jabber though – get back to haiku-writin’!

UPDATE: Holy smokes, you guys! I didn’t expect to get so many incredible entries! You blew me away and this was a total blast (and a real Sophie’s Choice) to pick winners. Check your e-mail because winners have been notified. You only have 24 hours to claim your prize or I’ll have to move on to the next poet on my list! Thanks again and keep your eyes peeled for our next comment section contest!

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  1. Scott B. Adams says:

    watch my reflection
    I blink for a brief moment
    but, it vanished.

  2. Aaron Sexton says:

    You can try to run,
    but I’ll walk just fast enough
    to catch you somehow.

  3. Scott B. Adams says:

    Mountains split apart
    before revealing secrets
    the world must not know

  4. Scott B. Adams says:

    Newton’s apple fell
    then it didn’t, it rose up
    like everything else.

  5. Scott B. Adams says:

    an astronomer
    whimpers with the clarity
    that he’s not alone.

  6. Shaan Sengupta says:

    A shadow appears
    Long, slender and menacing
    Yes, blood will be shed

  7. REED BEEBE says:

    The two-headed man
    spent a whole lot of money
    buying aspirin.

  8. REED BEEBE says:

    FANG FACT – some vampire
    children are afraid of the
    light during bedtime.

  9. Scott B. Adams says:

    Like a great hydra
    the slain corpse rises again
    with two in it’s place.

  10. REED BEEBE says:

    PLEASE NOTE – a vampire
    shark is a lot more deadly
    than a plain old shark.

  11. REED BEEBE says:

    H. P. Lovecraft took
    a huge risk when he made clear
    what we should look for.

  12. Scott B. Adams says:

    A morose circle
    blood of a small animal
    summoning began

  13. Rob says:

    Wrappers litter the floor.
    Nothing on TV. Cannot
    move. Death is certain.

  14. REED BEEBE says:

    If a zombie were
    elected President, we
    should move to England.

  15. REED BEEBE says:

    Please do not ever
    try to conjure a demon
    after getting drunk.

  16. Scott B. Adams says:

    monotonous moan
    It echoes ambiently
    suddenly silence

  17. REED BEEBE says:

    To kill a giant
    insect, what you need is a
    really big spider.

  18. REED BEEBE says:

    To be quite honest,
    a 50 foot woman is
    too much to handle.

  19. Scott B. Adams says:

    On an empty road
    Knocking on my car window
    I am still driving

  20. REED BEEBE says:

    Edgar Allan Poe
    was absolutely truthful
    about what he wrote.

  21. Mike Capuano says:

    Within the grimoire,
    something ancient beckons me.
    I answer the call.

  22. REED BEEBE says:

    How come no one can
    recall the movie where Shaft
    fought off Godzilla?

  23. KJS says:

    A chest cavity
    Is no place for candlelight.
    Hold still, I’ll show you.

  24. REED BEEBE says:

    When Dracula met
    the Invisible Man, he
    could not find a vein.

  25. Scott B. Adams says:

    An an empty road
    Knocking on my car window
    I am still driving

  26. matt cottingham says:

    dripping old muck
    golem rises
    flames explode for joy

  27. REED BEEBE says:

    When the Swamp Thing fought
    Man-Thing in mortal combat,
    the salad was great.

  28. REED BEEBE says:

    There is no “I” in
    “team”, but there is an eye in
    the specimen jar.

  29. generic says:

    Reaching from the wreck
    of the first age of man,
    snatching up all hope.

  30. REED BEEBE says:

    Bram Stoker wrote a
    book thought to be fictional,
    but it was all true.

  31. KJS says:

    Crows carry their prize,
    Above the smoking street lamps.
    Candy falls like rain.

  32. generic says:

    Between Heaven and all Hell,
    Here, now, behind you!

  33. REED BEEBE says:

    An aeon ago,
    Cthulhu took a long nap
    beneath the ocean.

  34. generic says:

    A pumpkin lantern,
    A shadowy front porch door.
    Which waits: trick or treat?

  35. REED BEEBE says:

    With a time machine,
    he committed suicide
    by killing his dad.

  36. REED BEEBE says:

    The vampire thought the
    menu selection was great,
    except for the stake.

  37. KJS says:

    Above sticky floors
    The buzz saw buzzes away
    In perfect blackness.

  38. REED BEEBE says:

    The Witch Library
    does not like to loan out the

  39. REED BEEBE says:

    The light came back on
    and everyone in the room
    was missing a head.

  40. REED BEEBE says:

    The hungry zombie
    could not find a human brain
    on Capitol Hill.

  41. Brent says:

    Lycanthrope heartbeats
    are thin as the night is long.
    The true lust is thirst.

  42. Brent says:

    Her slick, slithered strands
    will not fray or split in sun,
    for they breathe like stone.

  43. Brent says:

    Sticky silk and bones
    crowd the dank cavern entrance,
    eight legs waiting deep.

  44. Brent says:

    Brittle white chambers,
    sunken eyes judge the living
    in this crypt of nights.

  45. Brent says:

    Broken parlour pains
    from empty, sullen ballrooms-
    a lost love haunting.

  46. Brent says:

    Icabod sweats as
    the horse whinnies with terror
    and pumpkin eyes shine.

  47. Brent says:

    Black, feline, prowling
    amidst the midnight harem,
    she brushes your leg.

  48. Brent says:

    Pallid spectres float
    above the tombstone: carriage
    to the reunion.

  49. Brent says:

    At first the stairs lurked,
    cold descending corridor,
    but now they beckon.

  50. Brent says:

    Cadavers unearthed
    with freshly-putrid sinew;
    he wipes sweat, works on.