We live in a wonderful time for late-night television: Gone are the days of having to choose between the few major network offerings. There are now so many late-night talk shows there truly is something for everyone. But while most are beholden to major network standards and practices, the one-and-only Conan O’Brien has a bit more leeway with what he can do on cable—to a point.
In a recent video, Conan heads to his network’s Standards and Practices department, shocked that they even have one and that there are rules about what he can and cannot do. Starting with a checklist of euphemisms, Conan gives us a veritable smorgasbord of new, sexually laced terminology to behold while also letting us know that phrases like “Sir Dangles”and “The Scoliosis Twins” are acceptable for cable TV. (We’ll let you guess as to what they refer.)
He then pushes the boundaries for what he can wear on TV, including some revealing leather pants that are OK’d—but only if shown briefly—and a pair of aquarium underpants, which are now on our holiday wish list (never too soon).
But Conan doesn’t stop there, deciding to dive deep into the bizarre world of nonsensical overdubbed censorship. Using what might be the most damning example of nonsensical censorship—John McClane’s “Yippie Ki Yay Mother F-er” line from Die Hard II inexplicably dubbed over with “Yippie Ki Yay Mister Falcon”—Conan pushes the censor to explain the choice (there wasn’t even a character in the movie with that name) on behalf of all S&P departments. Unfortunately, we’ll never know how the network censor feels about this aspect of his job, because Conan got some fitting revenge by dubbing over his remaining answers.
What are your favorite examples of silly or unneeded television censorship? Let’s discuss in the comments below, you melon farmers!
Image: Team Coco