You know when you see an adorable, fuzzy little animal and you think, “oh my gosh, I just want to shove my keys down its throat and throw it in my purse!” You know that feeling, right? Well, instead of trying to chase down those speedy live bunnies for your key swallowing kicks, you can try purchasing one of these rabbit pouches from online retailer Felissimo. It’s easier and your neighbors will stop reporting you to the local authorities. It’s an adorable win!
There’s a bizarre trend lately with demanding stuffed animals do more than just sit there and look cuddly. I’m looking at you, Pillow Pets. (Editor’s Note: Pillow Pets get filed under “lately,” huh?) They have to be night lights or playback audio messages or, as is the case with these bunnies, hold your stuff. Sure, they look super cute, I mean they are pretty realistic stuffed bunnies, but showing a bunch of your belongings into them doesn’t exactly make them more huggable or cute. It’s strange, and yet I’m drawn to them and will probably order several as gifts for the holiday. My mom likes to hide her medication when she goes out, so why not hide it in an adorable rabbit!
Felissimo brags that these little guys look and feel (feel?!) just like the real thing, right down to their beady little rabbit eyes. The bags common in four different, uh, breeds? Chinchilla Rabbit, Netherland Dwarf, Miniusagi, and Holland Lop Ear are all available for your key-stuffing pleasure! Personally, I’d go for the Miniusagi, because Usagi Yojimbo is a badass and it’d make me feel like less of a psycho to carry that around. Also, it looks so fluffy and cute!
If you’re interested in having a corpse of a small woodland creature hold your beauty accesssories and cellphone, head over to Felissimo and order one of these! They cost about twenty bucks each, but that is a small price to pay for not having the stock the woods behind your house with a carrot and a baseball bat. Also, washing rabbit blood off of your car keys is no joke. That stuff is never coming off if you let it dry, which means you’ll be scrubbing it and cursing like a character from a Shakespeare play. Nobody wants to see you like that.
Benjamin Bailey writes for the Nerdist and can be found on Twitter talking about Godzilla, comic books, and hardcore music.