Season six of Game of Thrones has turned more into a Game of Disappointment. The badass action of last week led fans all throughout the internets to go nuts, our fandom brains firing on all cylinders coming up with insane theory after theory! And we were rewarded with… a constant stream of underwhelming reveals from our favorite characters. This, again, is a huge dive into the spoiler pool, so if you’re nervous for spoilers–go back now. Honestly, we’re so upset about the letdown that was “No One,” nothing matters. Three theories we loved like our own babies just got poisoned in front of their whole kingdoms, and now we’re reeling on Nerdist News!
First, we’re straight up devastated to tell you guys that the new ordinance outlawing trial by combat means NO MORE CLEGANEBOWL! Which… let’s be real… it sucks! We were getting hyped over here for the Hound to face off against the Mountain, and now it just seems like the Hound is going to head north with the Brotherhood without Banners while the Mountain just, well, hangs out in King’s Landing? Sure. And speaking of the Brotherhood, that leads us to another disappointing end to a theory–no more Lady Stoneheart. That badass Zombie Stark, reincarnated Lady Catelyn looks like she won’t be resurfacing now that it’s clear Beric Dondarrion is leading the Brotherhood instead. So thanks guys. That’s just great. RIP Lady Stoneheart, we knew ye not at all.
Even more frustrating, it felt like everyone and their dead friends were talking about Cat herself this episode. Brienne and the Blackfish, Brienne and Jaime Lannister, Jamie and Cat’s brother Edmure Tully. They really really seemed like they were going out of their way to remind us that she’s still important before literally peeing all over that theory, courtesy of the Hound. Cool. Fun.
And lastly, the most hopeful storyline of all, Arya Stark‘s Braavos storyline. If you remember last week, we had so many insane theories about what was really going on with the girl with no name, we went a little conspiracy theorist with it. But they were all so great! And what was the actual answer? Oh, literally after two seasons of training to become a faceless assassin, the youngest Stark learned literally nothing and really did get stabbed in the gut by the Waif?? Yep. And honestly, it feels like less of a hint at what’s to come and more like lazy writing.
So now we’re asking what the heck is actually going on with Game of Thrones? Do the writers have a grand plan, grander than all the fan theories combined? Is Tyrion a secret Targaryen? Is there ever going to be a CleganeBowl?? Do you think there’s still a chance for Lady Stoneheart? Let’s discuss!