I know the economy is tough and a small minority out there have turned to crime to survive. I know you Nerdists would never turn to burglary to make ends meet, but on the off chance you do, let me give you a tip.
Today’s burglary lesson comes from 25 year-old Cody Wilkins. Cody was not born for burglary. He is allegedly responsible for 10 burglaries in Silver Spring, Maryland. In these technologically advanced times, he was bound to get caught, but not by DNA, forensics, or sophisticated security systems. No, Wilkins was caught because he left his cell phone charging in one of the homes he burglarized.
Police immediately connected him to the crimes and now he’s charged with burglary. I would recommend however, a more appropriate charge of 1st degree stupidity.
So if any of you are considering burglary as a side job, let Wilkins be a warning to you. Don’t charge your fucking cell phone while committing crimes!
Oh, and don’t really go out burglarize anyone either. That would be really bad.