After a week of exhausting Deflate-Gate coverage (consisting mostly of hot air), the spirited dog-and-pony-show known as Super Bowl Media Day has mercifully returned attention back to the excitement surrounding the biggest televised event of the year.
Among the highlights will certainly be Marshawn Lynch and Rob Gronkowski’s appearance tonight on Conan. The two join Conan for a special Big Game Showdown edition of his running “Clueless Gamer” sketch. The two gridiron warriors face off on an all new battlefield, giving us a sneak peak at the forthcoming Mortal Kombat X, due to be released April 14. Here’s a quick teaser of tonight’s carnage (which somehow quickly devolves into a commercial for Lipitor).
If you’re not familiar with the players above, here’s a quick rundown to help you better appreciate tonight’s episode of “Clueless Gamer”:
Marshawn Lynch (aka Beast Mode) is a near unstoppable running back for the Seattle Seahawks, best known for collecting fines faster than a parking enforcement officer on street cleaning day. The NFL has tried to fine him for practically everything, including the hat he’s wearing above. Most infamously, he was fined $100,000 for not answering reporters’ questions after a game, leading him to his current strategy of answering all questions with, “I’m here so I won’t get fined.”
He did, however, provide a press conference for his favorite candy, Skittles.
Rob Gronkowski (aka Gronk) is a dominant tight end for the New England Patriots, and, arguably, the best tight end in the history of the NFL. But, as nfl.com points out, his jocular personality often overshadows his athletic prowess, dooming him to “forever be known as your perennially hungover best friend from college.” Recently, Gronk was the subject of an erotic e-book titled, A Gronking To Remember. He read an excerpt from the viral sensation at Media Day.
Conan is not a professional football player, but at six feet four inches, he could make a pretty mean tight end. Here, he tests Saints QB Drew Brees’ ability to recognize a football’s regulation weight:
Now, if you’re looking for a team to root for this Sunday, you have two excellent choices, but this writer strongly urges you to go with the green and blue. Then again, having grown up in a Seattle suburb of super-fans who officially changed our town’s name from Issaquah to 12saquah (in honor of the Seahawks’ 12th Man), I may be just a tiny bit biased. It’s difficult to stay impartial when your local Sasquatch celebrates a Seahawks win by showering in Skittles atop Poo Poo Point (Yes, our favorite mountain overlook is really called Poo Poo Point).
Or when the CEO of Costco (also headquartered in 12saquah) requests the last 10 minutes of the NFC Championship game be played on repeat in the local store’s display TV, and a crowd of fans forms for literally every showing:
So that’s my pitch/love affair with my hometown and team. Conan’s on tonight at 11/10c. The Super Bowl is Sunday, 3:30 PM on NBC. Good luck, Pats. But #GoHawks!