Not every conflict has to come to blows. The overwhelming majority of the time our differences are settled without any punches or bloodshed or buildings being destroyed resulting in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocents. This should be especially true when the two people having a disagreement are both iconic superheroes that should absolutely know better than to fight one another.
But there they were! The Caped Crusader and the Man of Steel battling it out on the big screen in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, like two gullible morons being played like puppets. Well, it’s okay for us to not always see eye-to-eye, but we shouldn’t try to kill each other. (Not unless someone defends what Zack Snyder did to Jimmy Olsen in the movie…just kidding…but seriously, don’t defend that.)
Fortunately for us the awesome folks at Dorkly have given us some alternative, less violent ways the two DC Comics characters could have fought, one that wouldn’t have seen them in such peril. (Well, except when Batman played Superman at tennis.)
From chess (uh…can someone please sketch out what the Dark Bishop would look like?), to (Kryptonite) Rock, (Mother’s Death Certificate) Paper, and Scissors, to the best option, playing the Injustice video game (“This Injustice game is stupid; there’s no way Green Arrow could beat Martian Manhunter in a fight.”), there were so many other ways for the two to settle things up, ways that didn’t involve 90 minutes in the middle where nothing happened. Though I would have stayed away from the peach tea.
Plus, all of these battles still ensured that no Marthas would die tonight. And that’s big. That’s what it’s really all about.
What would be the best way for Batman and Superman to settle a disagreement? Tell us your idea the comments below.