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"Awkward Hands" Calhoun Hosts New iPhone Tour Video

So the 3G iPhone basic feature tour video is up. Of the various features of the new iPhone, one thing is for certain: Apple hates using professional presenters. The guy they hired (or forced) to host the video has the awkwardly non-organic hand gestures of a Japanese automaton which can only earn him the name “Awkward Hands Calhoun.” But maybe Apple’s onto something…After all, awkward people are more engaging to watch. I can only assume that a company as calculating as Apple chose “Awkward Hands” for a reason…after much wiki-related research, I actually believe that this man to be descended from a long line of awkward hands-ded carnival barkers that toured the Prussian Wetlands in search of uncomfortable moments and fish heads.

Watch and note the skill at which he seamlessly transitions between “Jazz Hands”
3gtutorial

and “Jesus Hands”…
3gtourjesus

…both in abject defiance of any known communication conventions. No one’s that bad by accident. The result? His techniques are most effective–I was too distracted by the repetitive blackjack dealer hand flourishes and Little Rascals-esque line readings to look for anything about Copy & Paste or MMS.

Watch the video and play the “Awkward Hands” drinking game! Every time AH Calhoun throws up his hands at unmotivated points in the
monologue, take a drink. Every time he does it while swallowing a word, take two. I GUARANTEE you will be hammed by
the time he gets to “Enterprise Features.”

Images: [Apple]

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Comments

  1. inthenow55 says:

    Awkward hands, YES! As I know you have “Velvety Hands,” Chris, this guy is hard for me to swallow. 😉

  2. mackie says:

    I wish I had Jesus hands.