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Anchorman the Video Game?

But with explosions!

I fuggin WISH.

Nah, but I did see Predators this weekend and while it was everything I’d ever dreamed of in another movie about predators, it got me to thinking about action flicks and video games and how they pair perfectly like peanut butter and more delicious peanut butter and about how maybe I am a little tired of peanut butter. Maybe I would like a marmalade and cheese sandwich. Maybe I would like to change and grow as a human being. MAYBE I WOULD LIKE A VIDEO GAME NOT ABOUT SHOOTING ALIENS JUST ONCE AND ALSO PEANUT BUTTER IS FATTENING AND I WOULD LIKE TO WEAR SHORTS IN PUBLIC THIS SUMMER.

Anyway, I made a list of tv shows/movies (Anchorman!) I would like to see made into video games and why. You’re welcome.

1. 500 Days of Summer

You could (figuratively) shoot Zooey Deschanel’s character in the face! But not in a mean, illegal, horrifying way! Just in a “stop pretending you’re anything other than a bad Patsy Cline tribute artist it is embarrassing” kind of way! Shoot the manic pixie dream girl* and win the heart of Jo Go Lev! Sigh.

2. Say Anything

I picture this as an open world RPG like Fall Out 3 but with Three Dawg playing the Singles soundtrack over and over again. I figure you could play as Diane Court OR as Lloyd Dobler. Playing as Diane would mean a lot of puzzle games and solving the mystery of your Dad’s questionable business tactics and playing Lloyd would include kickboxing, key mastery, and collecting pens for health points. Yeah, I’d probably play as Lloyd too.

3. Step Brothers

Use the cheat code to place your balls on your brother’s drum set!!!

4. Anchorman

Staying classy while you fight Wes Mantooth and the Evening News Team at various popular San Diego landmarks would be pretty awesome and I would totally want to play as Veronica Corningstone even though my menstrual blood would attract bears. However, for every bear killed I’d level up so WHO IS THE BIG DEAL NOW HUH? (me).

5. Gattaca

One word: Gattacaction™. I’ll let you decide for yourselves what that means. (I think it means explosive wheelchairs and DNA grenades but I’m open to other ideas.)

6. Firefly


7. The Room

I’m actually afraid to see this movie even though I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I must see it to understand the horribleness of Tommy Wiseau but really why would I when I could just play the XBox version?

8. Law and Order:SVU

OMG you could be Stabler or Benson or Munch or Ice T! Interrogations! Lineups! Pedophiles! Stabler in that entire denim outfit he always wears during casual stakeouts! Why is his butt so big? I WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME NOW!

9. Archer

No, YOU’RE a video game, mother!

10. True Blood

Hooker, I don’t even want to have a discussion about this. You know a True Blood game would be AMAZING. Werewolves, vampires, high school football players, a blonde girl with superpowers and I – wait..Buffy…never mind.

So, what television/film entertainment would you guys like to play on your Xstationboxpcpads? TELL ME.

*Please no one shoot anyone ever, thank you.

Image: DreamWorks

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  1. Cash says:

    There actually WAS a fight club game. My old roommates, who were all videogame testers for Vivendi Universal all play tested that POS for like 8 months. Worst game I’ve ever seen, although by the end of the 8 months they were all extremley good at it.

  2. Rhogart says:

    How about “Battlefield Earth.”
    Not the part of the book the movie covered (barely), but the overly bureaucratic REST of the book.
    I’m sure it would give Penn and Teller’s ‘trip to Vegas’ (if I remember that correctly) a run for its money.

  3. adoyaradev1 says:

    I would love to see a battle royale video game despite the fact it will NEVER happen.I also would like to see a ip man,kill bill or chuck video game.

  4. James says:

    @Matt B. Forrest Gump would be brilliant it would be a button mashing FPS RPG video genius

  5. Matt B. says:

    Forest Gump The whole movie is an adventure. Lots of frantic button pushing during “Run, Forest, Run” Mode. First person shooter during Vietnam. Sports section for ping pong. Option controller for driving the boat for shrimpin’. This could totally work as a game.

  6. Summer says:

    Black Dynamite. Fight off the Kung Fu treachery with nunchucks.

  7. crackpotts says:

    Clockwork Orange

    Boondock Saints
    Kill Bill
    Mars Attacks!
    Natural Born Killers
    The Time Machine
    Time after Time

    But, by far and away, the best “movie to game” would be

  8. Kiala Kazebee says:

    @felicia OMG KRULL. WHY HAS THAT NOT BEEN MADE? And you could loot for candy because all little boys like candy!

  9. Cody says:

    In all seriousness, and I have thought this over for a long time.

    Hot Fuzz.

    That movie would make such an amazing video game, cause it could be part mystery RPG game that transforms into a kickass FPS. It would be epic.

    also an updated Big Trouble In Little China.

  10. Kiala Kazebee says:



  11. Cheezus Christ says:

    Oh, also ANY Clint Eastwood film

  12. Cheezus Christ says:

    1. Fight Club, for obvious reasons

    2. The Office. I just want to live a life in Dwight’s shoes

    3. Finally, Always Sunny. Nuff said

  13. Felicia says:


  14. Victoria says:

    I would play the *hell* out of an Archer game. There’s no possible way that could be a bad idea. Honest. Now I want an Archer game.

  15. Kiala Kazebee says:

    Also a Steve Brule video game would be amazing. Just frag the expiration date dummy!

  16. Dane says:

    Steve Brule of Video Game Blogging?

    You could have just said “Greatest Compliment Ever.”

  17. Graham says:

    @Briznye: Crank 2 was pretty much a video game. Even more so than Crank 1.

  18. joe says:

    yet another video game report from someone who will not let her open contempt or lack of knowledge about video-games impede her stubborn march to blogging success.

    plod on, brave kiala. you may yet become the steve brule of videogame blogging.

  19. carnivoress says:

    I would totally play “Better Off Dead” the video game… heck the movie even has animated characters. I love the camerawork and crazy pace of Raising Arizona so steal the baby and don’t forget his DipTet!

  20. You guys are making me PEE.

    *Mostly* with laughter.

  21. Mark says:

    ooh I’m going to go with a classic cheesey 80’s movie: The Last Dragon

    Sho Nuff!!

  22. Matthew Burnside says:

    It’s been a dream of mine to make the most boring game possible. I think an adaptation of Derek Jarman’s Blue would satisfy that dream. (It was just a blue screen the whole time.)

  23. Chris Hardwick says:

    Tayo: I’m actually surprised there’s no Doctor Who game.

    Zachary: BARTON FINK! YES! or Raising Arizona…kidnap Nathan, Jr, AVOID John Goodman, kill the bounty hunter…

  24. Danny Damore says:

    Even Better — The Big Lebowski with bowling mini games!

  25. I would love to play Firefly: The Game! Brilliant writing, great characters, but the problem is that the game automatically turns itself off two levels before you reach the end.


  26. Jenn Zuko says:

    Totally Big Trouble in Little China! Great idea!!!!!

  27. Tayo says:

    Doctor who!

  28. Another Jason says:

    Beverly Hills Ninja. Playing the part of The great White Ninja while trying to rescue the girl “My Dove.” A side game of training Joey in the ninja arts.

  29. Shawn says:


  30. Barton Fink.

    Dodge the flames, retrieve the package, befriend John Goodman!

  31. Bobby Hunter says:

    Sunshine Cleaning. To get 100% of the game completed you have to clean every single drop of blood/bodily fluid at each scene. Mini games could include tracking down your kid at the local creepy guy’s hobby shop and then building models with him.

  32. scyscyscy says:

    Sophie’s Choice FTW.

  33. Robert says:

    Pretty much these:

    Lost Highway
    Mullholland Drive

  34. Robert says:

    To Kill A Mockingbird.

  35. Danny Damore says:

    Big Trouble in Little China would be EPIC!

  36. Juan says:

    Grumpy Old Men. This would be Street Fighter style.

  37. Justin Stolle says:

    “Gattaca” not “Gattica”

  38. Danny says:

    Hot Tub Time Machine…nuff said!

  39. Kiala Kazebee says:


    Thanks! FIXED! My lady parts make spelling HARD.

  40. James Morasco says:

    Arrested Development: The Game

  41. Mike says:

    Children of the Corn.

  42. Sean says:

    Crap, there is a Blade Runner game. I go with The Hangover then.

  43. Jason says:

    Waterboy, the side scroller. Collect water to refill your rage mater, but don’t grab too much Gatorade by mistake, or else Momma will forbid you from playing the foosball, and then Henry Winkler’s ass will pop up on screen with “The End” on it.

  44. the barking dog says:

    I have always wanted a Lucasarts/SCUMM style adventure game adaptation of Die Hard. You’d have a great inventory full of looted objects – lighters, shoes you can’t wear (and when you LOOK AT SHOES, the pixelated text says “Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister”), detonators, red sharpies that you can USE RED SHARPIE WITH DEAD TERRORIST (or if you looked at his wallet, USE RED SHARPIE WITH DEAD NILS).

  45. Sam says:

    I would play the HELL out of a video game of The Room.

    “Press X to scream broken English!”

  46. Sean says:

    Bladerunner FTW!!

  47. the_nether says:

    Secure the supply, gather your dealers, sleep with the DEA/city planner/drug grower guy, then burn down your house and get knocked up by the Mayor of Tijuana! It’s Weeds, the video game (seasons 1-4)!

  48. Jeff says:

    I want to have the phrase GATTACACTION tattooed on my person.

  49. Jennifer says:

    CORNINGSTONE! And you could use a tv antenna as your weapon of choice!